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Chapter 5

" What's going on with you?" Anna asked David, as she narrowed her eyes at him. He'd been acting strange, and knowing David and some of the things he'd pulled the way she did, that was saying a lot.

David looked at her from the file he was pretending to be focusing on. " Going on?" Going on? If she only knew. In less then twenty four hours Erica was going to having the DNA test. In less then seven days, they would know the truth. The truth…scared him shitless.

She nodded, throwing a few last things into her purse before she took a step towards him, " Going on, David." She said, staring down at him.

" I've just been busy." He said, his voice level and nonchalant. He hated lying to her, he really did, but at this point, he didn't have a choice.

" I've seen you busy, this is something else." She questioned, throwing her purse over her shoulder.

He forced out his brightest, most knee weakening smile that he could, " Always such faith in me." He said, raising an eyebrow at her.

She smiled back at him and shook her head, " What do you expect?" She asked, " Every time you get quiet and you withdraw into work, it's because your hiding something from me."

" That's a gross overstatement. I'm not always hiding something when I withdraw into work." He teased flashing her his brightest smile.

She nodded, and smiled at him, as she crossed behind his desk. " Alright, fine. I'll do the impossible and trust you." She teased playfully, leaning down to place a goodbye kiss on top of his head. " Don't work to hard."

" I won't." He replied, still keeping his smiled plastered on.

" I'll bring home dinner." She told him, headed for the door, " Chinese alright?"

He nodded, forcing himself to keep up the façade until she was gone.

She nodded and offered him one last smile before she headed out the door.

He blew out a breath and shook his head as soon as she was out the door. How the hell was he going to do this? He felt like such bastard. He'd made a promise to Anna that there would be no more secrets. He promised her that they'd have a real marriage this time, that they'd work on starting a family. He really had meant with her. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, running a hand through his hair.

Their was a knock at the door a few minutes later. He blew out a breath and shook his head as he got up. He really wasn't in the mood for company. The door seemed like it was miles away, when he finally got to it. He didn't bother to ask who it was, figuring if whoever it was took the time to knock they probably didn't want to beat him up. They usually barged in when they wanted to do that.

Erica stared up at him as soon as the door flung open.

" Erica." He breathed, but she didn't say a word. She just stared up at him, her big brown eyes wide and filled with awe. Her smile was bright and radiant, and she seemed to have tears welling in her eyes. " What…" He started, but she shook her head, reaching out towards him.

He watched her, completely confused as she took his hand. He held his breath as she moved his hand.

She had her eyes locked on their hands, and the side of her stomach where she was placing his palm. She didn't say a word. She just held her breath and waited.

David didn't dare speak, not that he could find any words. He just held his breath and waited.

It was Erica's gasp a few seconds later that brought them out of their haze. " Did you feel that?" She breathed, peeling her eyes off her stomach and looking up at him.

It wasn't a kick, but it was movement and he felt it. He felt it alright…deep in his soul.

" He did it all the way up here." She breathed, " This is the first time." She told him, beaming now. The baby wasn't exactly kicking, but it was moving, and they could clearly feel the small flutters under their hands.

He still couldn't find his words. He just stood there, his palm pressed against her stomach, feeling the tiny flutters under his hand.

" David?" She breathed, not sure what to make of his expression. She didn't mean to always unintentionally torture him with this baby. She knew he may not be the father. But it was so easy to share it with him. So easy to get lost in the what ifs and the could be's.

He nodded slowly and hesitantly drew his hand back, sliding his palm from her stomach. He didn't speak for a few seconds, to lost in all the all the emotions that were running through him to form any real thoughts. However, he was sure he could manage to get one word out. " He?" He said back to her, his eyes wide and his eyebrow raised.

Her smile brightened, and she shrugged slightly, " Or she." She said, " I've been calling the baby "he". Just a feeling." She finished with a radiant smile.

He nodded, he had the same feeling. " You are always right."

" Yes." She said, smiling as he stepped aside, and motioned for her to come inside. " I think it might be fun to have a son."

" I think you'd be very good with a son." He offered closing the door, " Even if you have no idea how to raise a son."

" Hey." She said, feigning shock, but her smile more then gave her away. She was fighting back everything in her not to say what she was really thinking. That he could teach her how to raise a son. Their son. She sucked in a breath, and tried with all he had to force those thoughts away.

He didn't even have to close his eyes anymore to see their son before him.

They held each others gaze, reading each others minds, seeing into one another's souls.

David broke the spell, he had too. He couldn't take much more of this. He didn't have a lot of fight left in him. The longer this went on the less chance he had of making it through the next 5 days without spilling every feeling that he had swirling around him about the baby. " You need DNA."

She sighed, the spell was broken, and reality was staring her in the face. She liked getting lost in the what if's and could be's more and more lately. " Yes." She breathed a few seconds later, nodding slowly.

He nodded, and headed for his desk.

She watched him pull open a drawer and rummage around looking for what she presumed would be cotton swab. She knew him to well. He'd never give her a cup or a toothbrush or something that could be contaminated. No, he'd give her a cotton swab, sealed in a bio hazard plastic bag.

" I didn't want to risk contamination." He told her a few seconds later, handing her a sealed plastic bag.

She smiled at him, she couldn't help it.

" What?" He asked softly.

She shook her head and motioned to the cotton swab, " Thank you." She said, " The amniocentesis is scheduled for eleven tomorrow. If you're around, I'd be happy to find you and let you know how things go."

" You need to stay off your feet as much as possible after the procedure, Erica." He told her.

" That's true." She smiled, " I just…well, it doesn't feel fair to not include you."

He smiled at that, and ran a hand through his hair, never taking his eyes off of her. " As long as I know that you and the baby are alright, then I can get through not being there."

She offered him a smile, " Fair enough. I think I can manage that."

' I think you can too." He teased with a bright smile.

" Jack has been hovering even more then usual." She sighed, " So unfortunately I don't think I'll be able to get here to see you, but I will do everything I can to keep in touch."

" Thank you."

She nodded, and smiled brightly at him, " I'm going to have a copy of the results sent to you. I'll have them sent as a registered letter from the hospital, so Anna shouldn't have any reason to get suspicious if she's home when it's delivered."

He nodded, thoroughly impressed. Sometimes he forgot how much alike they really were.

" I better get going. I told Jack that I wouldn't be long." This was killing her. She wanted to stay with him. She wanted to take his hand and press it against her stomach again, let him feel the baby still fluttering under their hands. She wanted to confess to him how she closed her eyes and saw their baby in vivid detail. She wanted…

" Thank you, Erica." He said, " For everything. I don't know that I deserve the lengths you've gone to, to keep me involved."

" David," She said, making sure that their eyes were locked when she told him this, " despite all that has happened between us, I could never and I would never keep you from your child." She told him, the honesty in hr voice taking both of their breaths away, " If this is your baby, you will have an active part of his life."

He just stared at her, holding his breath. After everything he'd done to her. After all the pain he'd caused them. She was standing here in his living room, a day away from taking a DNA test that could potentially ruin her life, and she was guaranteeing him that he would a father to his child. God, what had he done to deserve her? " I…"

" You don't have to say anything, David." She told him, " I just wanted you to know that you don't have to worry about kept from this child if the test show the he's yours." She had a palm pressed over her stomach, she did that often, and most times she wouldn't even notice, but the baby seemed to approve of her choices and was moving in soft slow flutters under her hand.

He had to close his eyes, to keep the tears from welling in them. No one in his life had ever been this willing to believe in him, to trust in him and whatever good they believed was in him. " Thank you. I still don't believe that I deserve it, but thank you all the same." He told her with a smile, " And fortunately for us, you always get what you want."

She knew what he was inferring. That she wanted this baby to be Jack's, and that's what she'd get. She didn't respond for a few seconds, but she could almost hear the silent "I want this to be our baby" echoing between them. " Sometimes what you want, and what you need aren't the same thing." She breathed softly, her palm seeming to cradle the baby.

He nodded, and studied her face. He wasn't wrong before, she wanted this to. She wanted to be carrying their baby.

She nodded, and offered him a slight smile before starting towards the door.

He was content to let her go, he was. But he couldn't. She was just about to walk past him, when he reached out.

Erica gasped softly, when his hand landed against her forearm. She looked over at him, knowing the look in his eyes the second hers met his. She should keep walking. Walk out the door, drive home, pretend she didn't want what he was offering her. Him.

He pulled her gently to him, stopping her just sort of being pressed against his body.

She just stood there, looking up into his unfathomable brown eyes, as she held her breath.

He blew out a shaky breath, his hands slowly moving, his right to her stomach, and his left up to cup her cheek. He had an insane need to touch them, both of them. He knew this may not be his baby, but for the moment, he was more then willing to get lost in the what ifs.

She gasped softly as both hands brushed against their destinations at the same time. She wasn't foolish, she knew this might not be his baby.

It was like the baby knew what was going on, knew who had his warm palm pressed against him. It was like he was signaling them to go ahead. That this, the two of them, was alright.

David felt the flutters under his hand again, and sucked in a breath. Was this their baby telling them that this was alright? That this was as it was meant to be? Or was this Jackson's child, telling him to get his hands off Erica? He wasn't sure, about anything, other then the fact that she was so close he could almost taste her...

Chapter 7

Erica watched the monitor with wide eyes, and the only sound she heard despite the fact that Dr. Clader was giving her a play by play, was the sound of her baby's heartbeat flooding through the room. It was a comfort to know that no matter who was the father of this child, that it was a healthy baby.

" Erica?" Dr. Clader said, the tone in his voice indicating that he'd said her name more then once.

She peeled her eyes off the monitor and tried to pull her mind out of it's haze. She flashed Dr. Clader a hesitant smile as she forced herself to focus on what he was telling her.

" We're going to start the amino now." He continued, " You'll feel a slight prick, and pressure after that." He explained, " We can see the needle and its position the entire procedure. We try and go the opposite way of the baby and which way he or she might turn." He told them, " There is a slight risk of miscarriage after the procedure, but overall the procedure is safe."

Erica nodded, and Dr. Clader nodded to his assistants.

Erica closed her eyes , not wanting to deal with all of this. She wasn't afraid of the procedure and she wasn't concerned that she'd miscarry. She knew this baby was meant to be, and that no matter what the future held, this baby would be just fine. It was what this test meant, what came with it that she feared. The truth about this baby was nipping at her heels, and each time Jack, Lily or Reggie touched her stomach or made happy comments about the baby and what it was going to be like to have a new family member…the guilt almost swallowed her up.

How could she continue to look them all in the eyes, knowing that there was a very likely chance that this child was fathered by a man they all despised? How could she let them bond and fall in love with a baby that was more then likely going to torn from them? How had all of this happened?

She loved Jack, and she wanted the life she had with him. But she'd needed something before her wedding, something that only David could give her. It wasn't rational, and it didn't make a lot of sense, even to her…but she needed something that only he could give to her. She planned to walk out of room 906 that day, marry Jack, and live the life they were meant to live together.

Now, she was pregnant with a child that she wanted with every breath in her body, and her family was at risk of being torn apart. She worried to, about her feelings for David. And there were feelings, now. She didn't mean for them to pop up again. She didn't mean for her heart to swell when he looked at her. She didn't mean to end up feeling safe and protected in his arms. She didn't mean to feel alive when his fingers brushed against her.

" There we go," Dr. Clader breathed, said, finishing up the amnio. " Your amniotic fluid is clear. Baby didn't move and the heartbeat didn't flinch." He told them with a smile.

Erica nodded, letting her eyes flutter open, as she tired to turn her mind back to reality.

" I like to keep my patients here for awhile, keep them monitored, make sure that there's no cramping or bleeding, contractions, things like that." Dr. Clader informed them with a smile.

Erica nodded, still trying to break out of her haze before either of them picked up on the fact that her mind was somewhere else, " Alright," She finally breathed, " whatever you think is best."

Dr Clader nodded, and flashed them a smile, " You're welcome to stay, Jack, but I think you might be bored." He said with a laugh, " I expect Erica and the baby to be just fine and out of here within an hour or so."

" Mmmm," Jack breathed, " maybe I'll go call the kids and let them know that everything is alright."

Erica nodded to him, forcing a smile, as he leaned down to give her a quick kiss goodbye.

Dr. Martin flipped on a few switches on, and turned a few off, as he waited for Jack to exit the room. When he was sure that Jack was out of range to hear them, he looked at Erica again. " I took a little extra amniotic fluid, to do the DNA test your requested." He started, " Now, the Amnio and the paternity test will go to separate labs. I'll get the results of the Amnio, and the results of the paternity test will be sent to you and to David."

" Thank you, Dr. Clader." She breathed after her finished, offering him a soft smile.

He nodded, returning his own genuine smile, " Beside you, David and myself, the only other person who knows there is a DNA test being conducted is the lab tech, and even he got your name and the names of the potential fathers disguised."

" Oh, thank you." She breathed, blinking back a few tears.

" I know this must be a difficult situation, and I hope that it works out the way it's meant too." He offered with a pat on her forearm.

She almost laughed, meant too? What the hell did that mean? It wasn't like she knew what she wanted anymore.

" I'll be back to check on your in a about forty minutes." Dr. Clader told her.

He left a second or two later, leaving Erica laying on the exam table, alone in an almost silent room. The babies heartbeat was still pumping loud and strong through the room. She blew out a breath and moved her hands slowly, sliding them to her stomach. She pressed her palms softly against her stomach, " I promise you baby," She breathed, letting her eyes fluttered closed, " no matter who your daddy is, or what happens after we leave this room, that mommy loves you and we'll get through this." She vowed to the little life that was so safe inside of her. She didn't know much of anything anymore, but she knew that she loved this child, and that was enough to get them through anything.

To be continued…

Chapter 9

The drive to the hospital hadn't taken more then ten minutes, but it was without a doubt, the longest drive of his life.

He'd laid Erica in the backseat, and they'd tired to do lamaze breathing while he timed her contractions. He wanted nothing more then to crawl into the backseat with her and keep her calm, but he couldn't stop the car even long enough to come to a completes stop at red lights.

She'd panicked in the car, all tears, shaking hands and rapid breaths as she begged the baby to hold on. She'd pleaded with him to save this baby, to save their son, to make it okay. She was out of it, and lost in the pain of the contractions which as of when they'd pulled up at hospital were at about five minutes apart. She'd screamed at the last light that she was bleeding as well, but he had no way of being sure until they had her in an exam room.

She was in his arms now, clinging to him with all she had, tears falling against his chest as she sobbed uncontrollably.

Joe Martin watched him come through the door, hurrying towards them. He was signaling for a gurney and Erica was shaking her head in David's arms, demanding that Joe not touch her. She didn't want anyone but David, no matter what they said.

" It's going to be okay, Erica." David tried to assure her as the nurses stopped the gurney in front of him.

" No," She shook her head, flaying against the gurney as she tired to lay her against it, " save our baby, David, please." She begged.

" You have to let them help you, Erica." He told her softly, laying her against the gurney. He looked down into her eyes, and smoothed a lock of hair off her forehead, " I'm not going to leave your side, alright, but you have to let the doctors do what they need to do first."

She sighed softly and squeezed her eyes shut tightly a few stray tears still falling down her cheeks. " Promise me," She breathed, trying to bring herself out of her near panic long enough to be firm with him, " no matter what, you will save our baby."

" Erica," He started, shaking his head.

" Promise me, David." She said again, " Promise that you'll save our son." Her voice was clear and firm this time. And she wasn't going to let Joe or the nurses wheel her away without the promise of him saving their son, no matter what.

He nodded, and let his hand move so that is palm rested against her cheek, " I promise you, Erica." He told her, stroking her cheek soothingly as he looked deep into her eyes, " No matter what, I will do what's best for you and the baby."

She nodded, satisfied. " I can't lose him, David." She breathed, leaning into his hand.

" Erica, we're going to take good care of you." Joe said walking towards them, " How far along are you?'

" Seventeen weeks." David answered for her, his eyes focused solely on Erica, " She's having contractions, which were at last count, about five minutes apart, and may be bleeding." He informed Joe and the team of nurses who had rushed to their sides.

Joe nodded, and fired off some orders to the nurses who moved to wheel the gurney away, " You have to wait here, David." Joe told him, signaling for the nurses to wheel Erica into the ER room across the hall.

Any progress that David had made in calming her down, went out the window the second Joe finished. If she were rational. If she were thinking things through with any sense of clarity. If she wasn't terrified beyond belief of losing her child, she'd know why he couldn't go with her. But she wasn't any of those things and all she knew was that he couldn't save their baby if he wasn't with her.

Joe tried to reason with her, and calm her down, get her to stay still on the gurney, but the only thing she could focus on was the fact that he couldn't save their son if he wasn't with her. " Erica," Joe said softly, trying to break through her fear and appeal to her rational side, " David isn't on call right now, he's not an obstetrician and he's not family. He can't come with us. But I will keep him updated."

" David, " She cried, shaking her head, as she looked up at him.

His breath caught in his throat and he had to will himself not to look away. Her gorgeous eyes were as big as quarters and filled to the brim with panic. She was unraveling faster then he could pick up the pieces.

" Tell them that you can save him. Tell them you can save our baby." She said, looking at Joe now, " He can save our baby, Joe."

Joe shot his eyes to David, having heard the words Erica used. She'd said it more then once since they'd arrived, and at first he thought it was her inability to think clear, but now he wasn't so sure that she wasn't saying exactly what she meant, and the look on David's face only made him more convinced there was more going on here then he knew . " We're going to take good care of you and your baby, Erica." Joe told her, shifting his eyes back to her. He nodded for the nurses to move Erica into the room.

Erica shook her head vehemently, reaching out and grabbing David's hand as they started to wheel her away. " David, do something." She breathed, holding onto his hand with all she had, refusing to let them take her without him.

" I'll be right here, and when things settle down and you and the baby are stable I'll check on you." He told her softly, " Let them help you Erica."

That was all he got to say to her, because another contraction ripped through her, and they'd wheeled her away. Her hand gripping his until the last possible moment. His eyes however, stayed locked with hers until the ER door had closed. He just stood there watching the door now, as he blew out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. This was like the day he'd lost Leora. Forced to wait in the wings while incompetent doctors tried to save her life. He hadn't even had time to process the idea that his Erica was carrying his baby, before he'd been forced to put the life of his son, in the hands of the same incompetent doctors who let his little girl die. Someone up there, really had to hate him. He sighed, and shook his head, feeling more helpless than any doctor and father ever should. All he could do now was wait, and hope, hope that for once in his miserable life that he'd be granted a little happiness.

To be contiued....