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Chapter 2

“Erica?” Zach called for about the fifth time, he had been knocking on her door for about fifteen minutes. Kendall was at a conference in New York for Fusion. She had read about David’s death online, but what seemed funny is the cause was not known until they did performed autopsy after the funeral. She got the first flight home she could and called Zach. He agreed to go over to Erica’s to see how she was; everyone was really worried about her.

Zach tried to turn the doorknob but it was locked. He went around and climbed over the fence. “For being Erica Kane, there’s so security what so ever around here.” Zach laughed to himself. He finally got to the back door, which to his dismay was also locked.

Erica was upstairs in her bedroom, she was getting dressed to go down stairs, she heard the door, but decided not to answer unless she had too, which she knew she eventually would, so why not get dressed and fake the smile. Then she heard what sounded like more knocking maybe, it was louder and not like a normal knock almost like someone was kicking... She finally was making her way down the stairs.

Zach decided he had no other choice then to kick down the door, he was worried about, he thought maybe she was trying to kill herself too, he never knew with Erica. He finally got in, he just kicked until the doorknob came loose enough so he could get it, oh well he’d fix it later.

“Erica!” He called.

“Zach?” She asked surprised he was in her house. “Why are you here? How did you get in?”

“I am here to check on you, you didn’t answer so I thought something was wrong. I um…kind of kicked in the door… but don’t worry…I’ll um…fix it…well try to.” He said trying to fake an innocent smile.

“You did what?” She raised her voice. “Well, Zach I don’t really need you to protect me but thank you, oh and thanks for kicking in my door.” She said with a lower voice and tried faking a smile to act like her old-self.

“Erica? Cut the act. How are you really?” He said as sat down at the kitchen table and she handed him a cup of coffee.

She sat down across from him, “What are you talking about I am fine…great even.” She said doing her best to smile despite everything around her was falling apart.

“Erica, I know you. You can tell me, it’s gonna stay between us, anyway you need someone to talk to…and I’ve lost people I’ve loved too, I know how you feel.” He said watching her get up and motion him to come to the living room.”

“Zach I am fine…really.” She said standing in front of him blinking back her tears. “I am…” She was going to say more until she erupted into tears. Zach pulled her in close and held her as a friend, he wanted to be there for her, he and David were still ‘getting to know each other’s good sides’ and went from wanting to kill each other to talking when around each other, but he and Erica were actually getting close, they tried to make the effort for Kendall, but then discovered they were more alike than they thought. He reminded her of what David used to do when she cried, he too could always see through her, not many people ever could, but David could just by looking at her eyes.

“I’m sorry; you didn’t come over here to listen to my problems.” She said pulling out of his arms. “Thank you Zach.”

“Hey it’s fine, anytime; I just want you to know you do have someone there for you. I mean I know we haven’t always been friends, mostly enemies, but anything I can do to help.” He smiled.

He had to hand it to her; in a few minutes she put on a smile and came back down stairs. They talked for a little while longer. Then he asked her what she was planning on doing today since she was dressed like she normally would be.

“I um…am going to make the funeral arrangements for today, I also need to talk to Jack.” She said in a soft voice.

“Alright then, I am going to go now, but hey if you need anything, you got my number.” He said as he walked towards the door.

She remembered that Jack was actually never there for her, if any man was, it was Zach.

Chapter 4

“It’s always hard for you Erica, god let him go already. He’s NEVER coming back. He NEVER cared about you! You were just another notch on his belt.” He wasn’t even really yelling anymore, he knew it was wrong and out of-line to say that to her, but he couldn’t help it anymore, why was she so damn hard-headed?

She just stared at him, her expression unreadable. “How dare you? Maybe… maybe…it should have been you.” She whispered her voice was shaky. He watched as she turned on her heel and flew up the stairs into her room. She locked the door and leaned back against it, her tears falling faster and she was hysterical now. How dare he say that? It was only a year since David died. Why did she marry him? She wanted out of this marriage and this place, this damn place where almost nothing but bad things and drama happens. She’d known that since his funeral, since the autopsy showed up with nothing suspicious. They said he died of ‘unknown’ causes; how the hell does someone, especially someone in Pine Valley just die of ‘unknown’ causes?

Erica sat there in between Bianca and Kendall, both of her daughters by her side hand in hand, and Zach, who was sitting next to Kendall holding her hand. The funeral for David Hayward was almost over now. The church was dark, and icy. She didn’t know if it was just the occasion, or if it was always like this. When she came here with David, to see about getting married there, it seemed so beautiful, so lively. Now, it just reminded her of all the sadness and the loss, the hole in her heart that would probably never be filled, the only person who could fill it was lying in the casket in front of her.  It was Erica’s turn to speak. She walked up slowly to the podium and began:

“Thank all of you for coming. It really does mean a lot, times like these you find out who your real friends are. You may have known only one side of David; some people only saw the dark side. But I knew the loving, caring, romantic side. This man would have moved heaven and earth for his family. We had an understanding, a connection that no one else would be able to understand. He never tried to change me…” she laughed at the next thought she had before she continued, and “I don’t know how many high heels he dogged because of that.” Everyone started giggling a little. “I remember when he threw a picnic for us, all by himself, and his marriage proposal. But that is the David that you didn’t know.” Tears started to well in her eyes now, “So, rest in peace my love; I’ll see you again someday.” She looked in front of her, at the tears of Kendall, Bianca, and even Myrtle.

Erica had, had enough she couldn’t stay there any longer, she just needed some air. She looked around as she walked through the church to go outside. There was a lot of people there, she hadn’t noticed them when she came in, some patients, some doctors, and Pine Valley’s best of course, The Martins and The Chandlers even showed up, even Ryan, she just hope for their own well-being that they weren’t here to gloat about how Pine Valley’s ‘villain’ is now dead and how ready they were to dance on his grave.

Jackson had showed up for Erica. As much as he hated David, Erica was still important to him. He would never admit it to anyone, hell, he didn’t even want to admit it to himself, but he was kind of jealous of David. The man did horrible, horrible things to Erica, but she still loved him. No matter what. And it killed Jack to see that, she should be with him.

Zach was sitting next to Kendall hand in hand, when he saw Erica walk by and Bianca starting after her. “I’ll be right back.” Zach touched Bianca’s hand as she stopped and looked to see where her mother was going. “I got this.”

“Erica…” He said softly sitting next to her outside.

“Oh Zach, hi.” She said she didn’t even try to smile knowing he would know it was fake.

He shook his head. “Erica, you have to stop this. Right now is the time when you can let all of the grief go, you need to. You’ll only make yourself worse keeping it all bottled up until you explode.”

 “I don’t know if I can do this, I can’t sit in there and watch it all, it’s too painful, I don’t even know why he died, there’s no reason for it. I mean, then…then I have to go out and see all of these people…the looks I get Zach, it’s like I’m crazy, like people are expecting me to crack, waiting for me to have some kind of break down. Then I go and look at a magazine, or turn on the TV and it’s all there again…it NEVER goes away.” Her eyes were welling with tears now.

“I know…I know, but look how strong you are, I mean you still keep going out, no matter how people look at you. You are trying to find out what really happened, despite the autopsy results and not taking this lying down, and eventually the people on TV will move on to a new story.” He said as Kendall and Bianca came out to get them.

“Thank you Zach, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She said as she kissed him on the cheek.

“Remember that next time you threaten me.” He smiled watching her laugh a little.

“Erica open the door, you are acting like a child.” Jackson said annoyed at her childish behavior.

“You already treat me like one anyway!”

“Open the door!”

“No! I do NOT take orders from you, just leave! And leave me alone!” She screamed gasping for breaths now.

“Erica, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you, but it’s the truth sweetheart!” He said basically to the door hoping to coax her into coming out of the bedroom, or at least opening the door.

“I don’t care, just leave.” She was having an anxiety attack now, her stomach hurt, she couldn’t breathe, she was about to pass out.

“Erica! Just open the door so we can talk about this.” He said.

She unlocked the door and turned around so she was facing the door. The only reason she opened it was because she thought she might pass out. God how she wished this would all just go away.

“Erica?” Jack asked, he never saw her like this. “Are you okay?’

“What? I’m fine!” She said almost yelling, did he really just ask her if she was okay, hell no she wasn’t okay, she was a mess, and he didn’t see that?

“Erica, come here sit down.” He said motioning to the bed, around a few boxes.

Erica sat down next to him looking at the floor. He was surprised when he touched her arm how she pulled away.

“Jackson, it NEVER goes away. When Greenlee died did her death just go away? Did it just leave your mind? No, you think about it every day. Simple things remind me of him, like this,” She said picking up a newspaper, “He used to read the newspaper every day in the morning. This,” She said shaking the paper, “Is why it never goes away.”

“Maybe you need to see a therapist?” Jack half-asked, half-said.

Erica was dressed as usual, but with a suitcase, which didn’t really surprise Jack considering her outburst a few days before. Maybe she was going to stay with Opal, or at The Valley Inn, she usually did that when they had a fight, or she wanted to run away from her problems.

“Erica.” Jack said, slightly questioning.

“Jackson.” She nodded, moving slightly to stand near the end of the table. She was drumming her fingers on the table, but had stopped noting the way Jack looked at her as she did so.

 “Um…I have some business to take care of out of the country. I will be back as soon as I can be.” She simply said, she was being careful not to offend him. They’d been at each other’s throats lately, he’d yell at her for saying something, and she’d retaliate. It seemed like every time they talked it ended up in a fight, maybe this marriage wasn’t all he cracked it up to be.

“Well, where are you going to? Why can’t they just come to you? I mean I thought we could work on us.” Jack asked, slightly surprised how she was speaking to him and hardly believing a word she said.

“Well Jack, I have tried to work on us, maybe the time away can help. Besides that, my clients can’t always come to me and Brazil if you must know.”

“Yes, I must know...” He said mocking her,” Someone should go with you. “

“So first I need a shrink, and now…now I can’t even go somewhere without someone watching me? I traveled places by myself before I met you. I did fine before I met you. I am not a child.” She said annoyed and angry at his need to treat her like a child.

“I mean stop treating me like I’m a child for once.”

“Well, Erica, I don’t even know if I can trust you anymore.” Jack yelled.

“Trust me? What the hell are you talking about trusting me?”

“Every time something like this happens….Erica I know how you think.”

“How I think Jackson? Really?”

He said as he walked towards the door. “You know what, just go Erica, and do whatever the hell you want. I don’t care anymore! I’m outa here!”

“What’s the deal with Hayward?” The man on the phone asked.

“He’s in some random island, Tuvalu I believe.” The other man said.

“Where the hell is that?”

“I don’t know, somewhere by Hawaii.”

Erica was making her way in the airport. After a very, very long flight, she was finally here, hoping to be reunited with the man she loved.

“Miss Kane?” A voice called out.

Erica turned around to see a tall, dark-haired man smiling at her. He had a brown jacket on, with a navy blue polo shirt underneath.

“Yes?” She replied.

“Hi, I am Giovanni McLeod, the man you spoke to over the phone.” The man smiled.

“Oh yes, hello nice to meet you.” She smiled.

“I would like to talk to you more about Dr.Hayward, over dinner perhaps? I would rather not do it here.”