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Erica didn’t think she could move. She rested her head on David’s shoulder with her eyes closed and her arms tightly around him. Her heart pounded in her chest, and her entire body felt limp and liquid. She didn’t think it was possible to be physically closer to him than she was in this moment, and to her surprise, it was exactly what she needed.

David seemed to sense this, and he made no attempt to move her. Instead he held her just as tightly, breathing together with her, inhaling the fragrance of her perfume, savoring the feel of her exhausted body collapsed against his. Without a doubt, their lovemaking had been the most intensely pleasurable experience he’d had since… well, since the last time they’d made love years earlier. God, he’d missed her. He’d been with other women since they’d last been together, and it was nice, but it wasn’t the same. There was something about Erica, about the way they were together, that he’d never been able to duplicate with any other woman.

As their breathing gradually returned to normal, David stroked her hair gently and tried to prepare himself emotionally for however Erica reacted when she finally moved from his arms. This hadn’t been planned. It likely wasn’t something she’d thought would happen when she showed here to confront him. He was stunned by her news that she had filed for divorce, but he didn’t know how she really and truly felt about the impending end of her marriage. He knew she cared about him, that she wanted him in her life, but he had no idea where she wanted to go from here.

His greatest fear was that once she came down from the pleasurable high of sex, she’d regret what they’d done, and she’d run from him. Erica always pushed him away when he got too close, when he broke down too many walls. He’d been shocked at how much she let him in when she’d stayed with him a few weeks after the kidnapping. It had just been a few days, but in that short period of time, she’d opened up enough for them to have serious conversations about everything from what that bastard Kinder did to her to his actions with Miranda to how seriously she’d viewed their past relationship.   

At last she finally stirred in his arms. He released his tight hold on her as she pulled back enough to gaze at him, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders. He brushed her hair back from her face and smiled at her.

“God, that was…” he started, pausing to see how she’d react.

She smiled a little hesitantly, but it was a smile. He’d take that. “Amazing,” she finished for him.

He grinned. He couldn’t help himself.

She shook her head slightly. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” He laughed.

“Like you’re incredibly proud of yourself,” she scolded as she raised her hips and slid off of his lap.

He groaned slightly at her movement and reached out for her, hoping he could at least keep her in his arms.

“Come here,” he said, catching her arm as she stood up. He pulled her gently back to the bed and pressed a quick kiss against her forehead as he draped an arm around her delicate shoulders.

“I looked at you like that because I’m happy, Erica,” he said. “I promise there are no hidden agendas here. I grinned at you because I’m happy that you enjoyed that just as much as I did.”

She eyed him skeptically. “David, we shouldn’t have done this,” she said quietly, looking over her shoulder at the rumpled bed.

His heart sank. She was going to regret this. She was going to run. He noticed the awkward way she was perched on the edge of the bed with an arm covering her bare breasts. He’d forgotten how absurdly modest she could be even after the naughtiest of sexual encounters. He moved quickly to the closet and grabbed the first button down shirt he could reach. He draped it over her shoulders and slipped on a pair of boxers as he watched her slip her arms in the sleeves and button the shirt. She seemed to relax slightly when she was covered.

“Is that better?” he asked as he sat back down beside her.

She nodded slightly and then looked at him uncertainly. “I should go,” she said.

He cupped her lovely face in his hands and kissed her. He meant for it to be a sweet kiss, a loving gesture, a way to somehow stave off the rising tide of panic he knew she was feeling.

She sighed as the kiss ended and he moved his lips just out of reach.

“Don’t go,” he whispered.

In the end, she stayed, but only because she couldn’t think of a good enough reason to leave, at least not one that she was willing to discuss with him. David insisted that it was late, she slept really well at his home, and really, what else could she possibly need to do at the Valley Inn at this hour? She didn’t have any superficial reasons to go – there was no one she needed to meet, she had nothing planned for the following morning, and he was absolutely right that she’d sleep better here with him than she would alone in her hotel suite.

Despite that, she had plenty of reasons to want to leave, reasons she didn’t care to discuss with David. They’d just made love. After years of being apart, of her hating him even, they’d made love, and she’d wanted it, wanted every single pleasurable moment of it. If she stayed, she’d want it - and him - again. He’d told her that he loved her, and she’d told him that she still had feelings for him. She was still married. She’d just filed for divorce. She was beyond embarrassed at her inability to salvage yet another marriage, and she still loved Jack, in spite of everything. She just wasn’t sure how to fix their problems. Or if there even was a way to fix their problems.

She wanted to go because she was quite certain they could never be anything more than this, than occasional secret lovers. Not after what he’d done to Bianca and Miranda. Surely Bianca would never forgive David, and Erica herself had zero interest in having any kind of relationship with David’s daughter Babe. She wanted to go because she was afraid that the longer she stayed, the more time she spent with him, the easier it would be to fall in love with him again.

David knew she was holding back, that she had a lot on her mind she was choosing to keep in. He wanted to talk to her about her feelings, but he knew better. Just getting her to stay the night with him was a major victory, and he’d have to be happy with that. For now.  He’d hold off on the difficult conversations until morning.

They slept together in his bed, her still dressed in his gray button down shirt. She fell asleep easily, safe and warm in his arms. David awoke several times during the night, perhaps out of a need to reassure himself that she was still there.  Every time he opened his eyes, she was right there beside him. She’d moved from his arms during the night but still managed to stay in physical contact with him even in her sleep. He’d place a hand on her and feel her sigh softly as he watched her sleep before he drifted off again as well.

When morning came, he woke first. Erica was asleep in his arms with her head against his chest, her face obscured by her dark tresses. Their bare legs were tangled together, and from the way she was positioned against him, he was painfully aware that she’d gone to bed without her underwear. He didn’t want to wake her up, especially when she was sleeping so peacefully, but he wasn’t sure he had the willpower to lay there with her half on top of him without getting turned on.

David closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but he couldn’t stop his mind from drifting back to the night before. The way her pulse raced beneath his lips as he sucked on the sensitive skin of her throat. The way she said his name in between breathy pants and cries of “Oh God” and “yes.” The way her body reacted to his. The way they could fall into bed together as if the last few years hadn’t happened.

If the ordeal with Kinder hadn’t happened, if he wasn’t fully aware of how she struggled with nightmares, he would have tightened his arms around her, shifted his leg a little to the right, and dipped his fingers under the edge of the shirt she was wearing, caressing her until she woke up and he could make love to her again. He had a feeling though that last night was the first time in weeks that she’d slept peacefully through the night, and he didn’t want to disturb that. He was a heartless bastard, but not a total jerk, he told himself.

He reluctantly shifted her off of him and slid away from her, moving carefully to avoid waking her. Once out of bed, he put on a pot of coffee and cleaned up most of the broken glass in the living room from their fight the night before. He was debating the merits of a cold shower when he heard her scream.

When he ran back into the bedroom, Erica was sitting up in the bed, blankets pulled up around her, with her head in her hands. She looked up when he burst into the room. She was visibly shaking, but she wasn’t crying. He hoped that was a good sign.

“David,” she pushed out, her voice quaking as she reached for him.

He immediately went to her, sitting down on the bed beside her as she launched herself into his arms.

“I’m here,” he said soothingly. “And you’re safe.”

She nodded against his chest and drew in several shaky breaths before responding.

“I know. It was just a dream,” she whispered.

“But it felt real,” he acknowledged.

She nodded again. “And I woke up, and I was alone. You left me.”

He put his hands on her upper arms and gently moved her away from his chest so her eyes could meet his. “Never. I’d never leave you. I was making coffee in the other room, and I wanted to let you sleep.”

She looked at him in hesitation.

“Do you want to talk about it? About the nightmare?” he asked.

She shook her head stubbornly. “No,” she said.

Dear God, no, she didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t like to even think about it. Ever since that night in her hotel room, when she’d learned that Jack had tried to talk the authorities out of searching for Jonathan Kinder’s cabin, David’s words had haunted her. Rarely did a night go by without the nightmare returning. She was back in that cabin, handcuffed to the bed, screaming for Jonathan to stop, to get off of her. But in this nightmare, there was no David. He never burst through the door and pulled Jonathan off of her. He wasn’t there to un-cuff her injured wrists and take care of her. No, this nightmare was her own personal hell on earth. It was just her and Jonathan, and there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop him as he viciously attacked and raped her. This morning she awoke from the nightmare just as she normally did, screaming and shaking in fear. She couldn’t put into words how terrifying or upsetting the nightmare was, how real it felt, or how much she was reminded of the actual rape she’d suffered on her 14^th birthday.  

“Is there something I can get you? Is there anything you need?” he asked, unsure of how to proceed. She wasn’t crying. She seemed calmer than she had a few minutes ago.

“You. I need you,” she blew out before she could stop herself.