Learning to Breathe: Chapter 8 in Fan Fiction Forum

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Learning to Breathe: Chapter 8

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DandEfan	Learning to Breathe: Chapter 8		Lead	[-]
Posts: 5449 01/30/10 2:24 PM Finally Free! David and Erica Addict #1 Porn Nazi! D&E Encyclopedia Volume 1 The Big Cheese Left Arm	Tags : None This is definitely AU D&E. It's something different that I want to try. It's not a happy fic, at least for the first few chapters. The entire back story will be told in flashbacks, of sorts. Anything in italics is a "flashback". I'll do my normal disclaimer: I am not advocating teenage sex nor am I promoting it. It's a fact of life, and that's how its dealt with in this fic. That said, hope you like. Chapter 1 “I’m so sorry for you loss, Miss Kane.” She nodded softly offering the man a complementary smile, “Thank you,” She blew out on a whisper as moved across the room to take her seat. “I’m sorry that we have to do this today,” The man said, shaking his head as he walked around his desk, “Your mother made it very clear that she wanted this done after her funeral was over.” Erica nodded, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. She hated this, everything about it. She hated that death came and went and the world kept moving, at least for everyone else it did. For her time stood still. Left her in that moment, all those years ago when her heart was buried in the soft ground next to the spot where her mother now laid. “Miss Kane?” The man said back to her, “Did you have any questions before we begin?” She shook her head, pretending she heard him, pretending she cared, pretending that anything her mother may have left her in her will was going to fix what had been broken most of her life. “Alright, well you know as Mrs. Kane’s only surviving relative that all of her financial assets are left to you, which includes stocks, bonds, investments,” The lawyer began, and Erica nodded. “Yes, she and I went over this last year when she first got sick. I was under the impression that all of this was a formality,” She said, a bit more bitingly then she meant too. He nodded, ‘Yes, well, there is something else, I mean your mother did leave you something else that I don’t believe you’ve discussed.” “Oh?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at him, “I was told she and I had everything covered. All money and assets transferred.” He nodded and then swallowed back a hard breath before pushing out his next set of words, “I don’t think you mother wanted you to know of this until after she’d passed.” “Know of what?” She asked, watching the man shake his head. “Please, just watch the video, let you mother explain.” She shook her head, and opened her mouth to speak when he flipped on the TV next to his desk. Her mother appeared a second later. She was sitting in her favorite chair at their old summer home in New York. She hadn’t been there since… “If you’re watching this,” Mona started softly, “Then I’ve passed and my Will is being dictated to you,” Mona paused for a few seconds, leaning back in her chair. “I want to start by telling you how much I love you, Erica. How much I have always loved you. From the moment you came kicking and screaming into my world, I knew there was nothing I wouldn’t do for you…” Her voice trailed off at the last of her words, and her face grew serious, “A parents job is to protect their child. Always do what they feel is best for them. Always,” She pushed out, her eyes beginning to well with tears, “I know you’re probably wondering what this about. Why I chose this place…” She trailed off, falling silent for a few minutes, She wanted to scream back at the TV “Why did you mother? WHY?” Of all the places in the world why that one? She blinked back tears and shook her head, waiting for her mother to continue. “Sometimes we do things, that at the time, they seem right….justified,” She said, nodding, trying to convince herself as much as her daughter, “That last night that we were here…” “Shut it off,” Erica pushed out quickly, shaking her head, “I don’t want to hear anymore.” “You have too,” The man replied, shaking his head, “I know this is hard, but you need to hear what she has to say.” “I know you probably want to turn the television off and run away from this as fast as possible, I don’t blame you,” She breathed, “But what I have to say, you need to hear, you deserve to hear,” Mona took a deep breath and let her eyes fall shut, as Erica fingered tears from her cheeks, her mind spinning as to why her mother was making her go through this, “You had know way of ever knowing this, but when you fought me that morning….because you so close to you due date and you didn’t want to go into labor in the middle of nowhere…that you would go into labor that night. I made sure of it.” Erica gasped hard and breathless, the air in her lungs seeming to disappear as she struggled for a breath. “That’s why I took you to see Dr. Fulton that morning,” Mona started, “I told you it was to make sure that you knew you’d be alright to spend the weekend at the cabin. That was a lie. “ “Oh,” Erica gasped out through a gut wrenching cry, her tears falling hard and fast. “He gave you drugs, that shot that you were told was part of a regular series, it wasn’t. It was a shot filled with labor inducing drugs.” She gagged back a sob, and leaned forward, a painful cry sliding from between her closed lips, “Turn it off…please, I can’t…” She begged through her tears. Her mind spun, racing through the events of that day, the whys, the how’s, the ending result that until ten seconds ago she’d believed was out of her control. “I know this is hard,” The lawyer forced out, his own voice cracking a bit as he nodded, “but you have to hear this.” “It was all planned,” Mona forced out, on the verge of tears, “From the moment you found you were pregnant, we starting putting it all together.:” Erica choked back a gag, her lunch spinning in her stomach. Her entire body shook, and her tears flowed freely, as she tried to keep herself there, listen, understand what her mother was doing, why she was saying these things. “David’s family didn’t want the two of you together anymore then your father and I, but you already know that. We let it go when you got engaged. There was no way a fifteen year old and a sixteen year old would ever make it to the alter. When you told us you were pregnant that next year, we couldn’t…it wasn’t like the wedding. You’d be tied together forever. Our families…our fortunes, all tied into each other with your child.” She did gag at that, her body wrecked with sobs and tears as she tried to keep it together, tried to hear her mother out. Tried to figure out why her mother was sitting there, telling that the pain she felt…the ache, the want, the loss…was all her doing. “Vanessa and I decided that you couldn’t have that baby. David would be eighteen by the time it was born, and we knew you two would never sign over your rights. So we had to think of something else, devise another plan….” Erica pushed out a few shaky breaths, trying to pull herself together, trying to fall part, trying not to get lost in the pain. She was seventeen again, all of the sudden. Sitting on the floor in the middle of her daughters nursery…her daughters empty nursery, trying to will herself to take another breath, willing herself to keep going. “The only way we were going to get that baby from you two was if you thought it was dead,” Mona pushed out the last of the words hard and fast, trying to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. “When you have that kind of money, faking a babies death is easier then one might think.” Her mother paused to fight back tears and Erica froze. Her while world stilling, just like it had the moment in her room at the house on the lake after she’d woken up to the news that her daughter was dead. She blinked past a few tears, and drew in then released a heard breath, her mothers words just starting to float through her head. “I had Dr. Fulton drug you. And we went to the cabin. Vanessa slashed David’s tires, made sure that he didn’t get any calls that night,” She offered reflectively, “Dr. Fulton delivered your daughter. It was all routine, you would have never thought anything of it.” “Until he told me how much blood I lost,” Erica blew into the room and at the TV the realization of it all beginning to set in. “Until he told you how much blood you lost, that he needed to put you to sleep, keep you sedated while he tried to stop the bleeding. It was a lie, that’s why David couldn’t have been there, he would have known.” “Oh god,” She forced out, as she fought for breath again. Her mind was still racing, trying desperately to put this all together, to understand what her mother was getting at. “You went to sleep, and we…” Mona choked on the words, her eyes drifting shut again as tried to get the words out, “Vanessa, she took the baby. It was a quick transfer, she and I had already signed the papers. We told them you and David wanted to give the baby up, gave us your consent, but asked that we handle the rest of the details. You needed our consent anyway, so no one asked any questions.” Erica choked on her tears, and gasped for breath, the raw agony of that night still so fresh in her mind and heart that she could quell it or the this new betrayal, this new… “You woke up and we told you the baby was dead,” Mona finally pushed out, letting the words fall out hard and fast. Erica drew in hard gulp of air and shook her head, tears staining her cheeks, “My…my…baby…” “I don’t anything about her adoption. The family. Any of that. That was Vanessa’s area. All I know is that she went to a good home.” “Oh my god,” She breathed, the words shaking as they slipped from her lips, “my baby’s alive?” She wasn’t sure if it was still a question of if sixteen years of visiting her daughters grave with teddy bears and roses was still to much to get past. “She’s alive. And a teenager,” Mona smiled softly, “She’s about the age you were when you had her.” Mona’s voice softened, “I imagine she’s quite beautiful. She had David’s eyes but her facial structure was yours.” Erica covered her mouth, gasping and crying, shaking forcefully as the words finally clicked in her mind. “I know that Vanessa kept all the paperwork, since she’s dead, I’d imagine David has,” Mona offered, “Though, if what I heard was true, he probably just put them away and didn’t bother to look at them.” “My baby,” She breathed, as she swiped at her tears, “David,” She pushed out a second later, “Oh my god…” She said the last of her words getting lost in a hard rush of air as it all hit her and the world went black. She vaguely heard the sound of her mothers lawyer jumping from his chair in an attempt to catch her before she fainted to the floor. To be continued Last Edited By: DandEfan 04/26/10 1:50 PM. Edited 7 times.
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Posts: 5449 01/31/10 3:34 AM Finally Free! David and Erica Addict #1 Porn Nazi! D&E Encyclopedia Volume 1 The Big Cheese Left Arm	Because I'm in a good mood. Oh and since Erica got pregnant sixteen years ago, and condom's are currently only 97% effective, I think having them only have been 95% effective then works. Chapter 2 She’d come to in her mothers lawyers arms not long after the video had gone black and her mother had finished telling her that the last sixteen years of her life had been a lie. That the one defining moment of her life had been a lie. Everything she’d done in the last sixteen years, every decision she’d ever made went back to that day. To the moment she buried her newborn daughter in the cold ground on a snowy January morning. She still saw her daughters sweet face in her dreams. She had David’s dark complexion. Her hair was dark and full on top of her tiny head. Her eyes, which had only been open for a few moments, were brown, dark and rich like David’s, yet shaped like hers. Her facial structure was soft and round, lips and cheeks seeming like perfect blend of the two of them. Her nose was tiny and fit her face perfectly. It didn’t seem like her or David’s, but then that’s what made her, her own person. She didn’t think they’d officially weighed her but Dr. Fulton had estimated about six and half pounds and about twenty inches. She counted toes and kissed tiny fingers. Her daughter had been perfect. She’d listened to and felt her daughter’s heart beat, watched her chest rise and fall, she had for the entire five or so minutes she’d held the little girl. She’d let Dr. Fulton put her to sleep, so he could monitor her and work to control her bleeding, believing she’d wake up to find to find David sitting near her bed, their daughter safe and happy in his arm. David…she sucked in a hard gulp of air and her eyes fluttered shut. Good god, David. “Miss Kane,” She heard a voice softly, “Is there anything I can get for you? Some coffee, maybe some tea?” The flight attendant asked, offering her a soft smile. Erica shook her head and forced her eyes open, offering the woman a soft smile, “No thank you.” The woman nodded, “If you change your mind just push the button in the middle,” She said motioning to the panel above Erica’s head, before starting toward the next aisle. It wasn’t until they were in the air, that she realized where she was and what was happening. She was Erica Kane, and as soon as she’d called the airport enquiring about a flight from Los Angeles to London, they’d been more the willing to see to it that she was on the next flight out. They’d gotten her on the last flight of the night. A 10:45PM non-stop flight from Los Angeles to London. She hadn’t even gone home to pack. She hadn’t thought to go home and pack. She’d driven to the airport in a fog. She’d collected her ticket and gone through security in a daze, her mind a million places, and none of them in reality. She’d literally jumped on the first plane she could get on and was now three hours into her flight to tell David their daughter was alive. Her eyes fluttered shut again, and she blew out a slow breath. She hadn’t seen him in fifteen years. Not since their graduation ceremony. The last time they’d spoken was at their daughter’s grave after the funeral. She’d been so cruel to him. Said so many things to him that she wished she could take back. There was so much she wished she could take back. Her mind drifted, her thoughts floating off into the past. Into the mistakes, the love, the happiness, into the darkness and heartache…. They’d met when they were kids. He was eleven and she was ten. They were supposed to have hated one another, seeing as their fathers were business rivals and their mothers competing actresses. And they had, at least at first. They’d met when both families chose to vacation at Blue Mountain. A gorgeous and wealthy lake town in New York. They’re families had ended up as neighbors and had been forced to deal with one another; seeing as neither family was willing to end their vacation. She and David had met a few minutes after his family arrived. She vividly remember laughing at him because he looked like mess from his travels. What she would later learn was a six hour flight from California and a three hour trek into mountains. He’d stuck his tongue out at her and called her a stupid girl before kicking dirt all over brand new white dress. A few days later, after he’d gotten some sleep and cleaned up, she’d realized he wasn’t nearly as funny looking as she’d teased him about being. And he was nicer to her. They’d ended up being practically inseparable by the time they had to go, much to their parents disapproval. He’d kissed her before they left. Nothing passionate or earth moving of course, they were only kids. He’d blushed and she’d giggled, and then he’d ran off to his families car. She fell in love with him that day. It wasn’t just innocent child love. She knew she’d marry him one day. They met every year at the lake house for the next two years. They were best friends by the end of the third summer, and when he kissed her again that last time, she was twelve and he was thirteen and they didn’t blush or giggle. He’d just smiled and mused how he was really starting to like doing that; that he might want to for the rest of his life. He’d tell her a few years later that he’d loved her since they were ten, as if she hadn’t have always known. His dad died of a heart attack when he was fourteen and his mother had moved them across the country to New York. And he’d ended up at her high school. She’d was by his side the entire summer that year, helping him through his fathers death. They laughed together. They cried together. They looked forward to the first day of high school together. And kissed, a lot. He told her loved her for the first tine when he reached for her hand as they walked to their first day of high school together. She was his girlfriend and he was her boyfriend and everyone at school that first year knew that they were meant to be together. Their parents, however were a harder sell. David’s mother, Vanessa, refused to let them spent time together and did everything in her power to keep them apart. Her own mother and father hadn’t really cared, believing it to be nothing more then childhood infatuation, at least until she’d walked in on them making out. In their defense, it was only kissing. And that’s the way it stayed for at least another year. But to a mother who walks in in her child locking lips with any boy, let alone one who is the son of your biggest business rivals, and you have to put a stop to it. They were officially banned from seeing each other mid way through their freshmen year. Of course it was only words to them, and they continued to see each other as often as they could outside of school. She was fifteen and he was sixteen the first time they had sex. People would always say it was David’s idea, since it’s never supposed to be a proper young woman’s idea, but it had been hers, she’d bought the condoms after all. She told that she didn’t understand what the big deal was. They loved each other, and they always would. They’d be safe about it and they would be sure to handle things like adults. And they had. It wasn’t like she got pregnant that first time, or even during their Sophomore year. There parents never even realized that they were having sex, at least not until she got pregnant. He’d asked her to marry him that summer, right after he turned seventeen, and just before the start of their Junior year. They’d driven out to the lake, the same one they’d first met on almost seven years before. He packed a picnic of pizza and soda. She’d laughed at how unromantic he was and teased that she should find someone else. He’d countered by asking her to marry him. She’d laughed and thought he was kidding. They weren’t even through high school. His reply was to pull a box from his pocket and get down on one knee. He told her loved her. He’d loved her since he was eleven years old. He didn’t care if it sounded silly or if they were still just kids. She was the one he wanted, forever. He confessed to wanting to plan his future, but not knowing what that was or where it was going to tale him, without her next to him. She still thought he was crazy, but he was right, her future didn’t have any direction without him by her side. She said yes a few minutes later. He put the ring on her finger and they kissed under the stars. They were kids. They didn’t stop, take a breath, but that didn’t matter then. Back then they believed love really was all you needed. “They took that better then I thought they would,” David half said, half laughed, shaking his head., his hand in Erica’s as they exited her families home. “What part of forbidding us to ever see each other again was good?” She asked, sighing. “They’ve done that before, Erica,” He told her, stopping, so that she would too and he could turn her to face him, “Hey,” He breathed, watching her turn to face him, a few tears lining her gorgeous eyes when she was facing him, “what’s wrong?” She shook her head, “Maybe they’re right,” She breathed, “We are just kids, and legally we can’t get married until we’re eighteen anyway. Maybe we should stop and think this all through.” “Think what through?” He asked, shaking his head as he stepped closer to her, raising both hands to cup her cheeks, “So we plan a wedding for a year and half. We wait. I know I’m not going anywhere, and I know you’re not. But I want use to know that after you turn eighteen, we’ll get married, and go off to California together to start the rest of our lives. Like it should be.” She flashed him a watery smile, “I’m sorry, they just make me so mad.” “They don’t think we’ll get married,” He told her, “They think they’ll make us wait, drop hints and whisper in our ears about how we’re to young and don’t know what love is, hoping to break us up. They don’t think we’re serious.” “Do you think they could be at all right?” She wondered, “That we don’t really know what love is at our age.” “I know that what I feel for you, is the most intense, honest and real emotion I have ever known. If it’s not love, then I don’t know what else to call it. I don’t see how it matters if I’m eighteen or eighty, it’ll always be the same.” She bit back tears and threw herself into his arms, holding him close, “I love you,” She blew into his shoulder, “No matter what happens, I love you.” Two weeks later and he was by her side when she got the results of the pregnancy test. They’d never had unprotected sex and the idea that they were among the fix percent who saw the condoms fail to prevent pregnancy. “We were careful,” Erica sighed tearfully, her head resting against David’s shoulder as they sat at the foot of her bed. David nodded, “According to the box, there is a five percent chance this could happen.” She laughed dryly, and shook her head, “It figures that we’d be one of those five percent.” “What’s done is done,” He added, softly, his voice still slightly lost to their shock, “We’re going to have a baby.” Her eyes drifted closed, “At sixteen and seventeen.” “We’re getting married in a year,” He added, trying to reassure her, despite the fact that he wasn’t any calmer about things then she was. ”I wanted to get through college before we even started talking about kids,” She sighed. “At least we’ll have graduated before you’re due,” He offered, “I don’t know what else to say,” He said shaking his head, “I’m sorry,” He said, “You do know that this doesn’t change anything with us?” She nodded, “I love you. I think I’m just in shock,” She laughed lightly. “I’m not sure I know how to be someone’s mother.” “I don’t have any experience as someone’s father either,” He offered, a soft smile playing at the edge of his lips, “I hope it’s just one someone…twins do run in my family.” She laughed aloud at that, despite herself and playfully slapped at his shoulder, “That’s all we need.” Vanessa mandated that they abort the baby. Her own parents seemed to support Vanessa’s wishes, though they hadn’t ever spoken the words. They were disgusted, ashamed, and horrified at the thought of being relatives. They were all crystal clear that neither of them could live at home if they insisted on going through with the pregnancy. David had told them all to go to hell, grabbed her hand and they’d left her parents house, to never return. He found them an apartment a few days later, and they used the money his father had left him to move in. Neither of them had been ready for what they were actually getting themselves into. They were teenagers, living together, planning a wedding, getting ready for a baby and looking into college’s all while trying to finish high school. She’d nearly fallen apart more times then she could count, but David had always been there to keep them going. “We can do this,” He told her, his words slightly soft and caught in his throat, as he studied the sonogram picture in his hands. “We have too,” She breathed, in awe of the tiny image before them, “Isn’t it amazing?” “I’m around pregnant women all the time at the hospital,” He started, referencing his volunteer work at the hospital, “And I’ve even been around a few ultrasounds, but when it’s your own baby….” “I wasn’t expecting to see a real little person,” She breathed, a soft smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “I know,” He nodded, “He or she has fingers and toes. You’re hardly pregnant, yet, there is absolutely a little person in there,” He said softly, laying a soft palm against the slight swell of her stomach. “I think it’s a girl,” She told him, offering him her most enchanting smile. “As long as it’s healthy,” He smiled, and she shook her head laughing, “What?” He wondered, cocking his head questionably at her. “You’re cute when you try and pacify me,” She laughed leaning in to drop a kiss on his lips, “Every guy wants a son. You’re no different.” He shrugged, offering her a sweet smile, “I actually think I’d like having a daughter. I kind of see a little girl as being the perfect blend of both of us. Your looks. My brains. A perfect little blend of our personalities.” She gulped back a breath and squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could manage, trying to keep her tears from falling. Once they fell she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stop them. His words rang in her ears. She knew he loved their daughter. That he wanted her as much as she did. She never doubted him. She bit down on her lip, as she remember what she’d said to him that day, in their daughters nursery, what she’d told him at the babies grave site. She’d been cruel and hateful. She wanted him to hurt the way she did. She’d never stopped to see his pain too. He’d probably never forgive her. He’d probably take one look at her, tell her to go to hell, and never hear her out. She wouldn’t blame him, either. Not this time. To be continued Last Edited By: DandEfan 01/31/10 5:29 AM. Edited 1 time.
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Posts: 5449 02/20/10 12:09 PM Finally Free! David and Erica Addict #1 Porn Nazi! D&E Encyclopedia Volume 1 The Big Cheese Left Arm	Chapter 3 She was sixteen weeks when they found out they were having a daughter. They both cried when the doctor told them, and then laughed about how much pink David was going to be surrounded by. Their apartment had two bedrooms and David promised to make their daughter the brightest, pinkest, most girly room anyone had ever seen. And he had, all while finishing high school, applying to college’s, working and helping her plan their wedding. He was her rock, keeping her going when she was sure she had nothing left to give. “Why don’t we just name her after she’s born?” David suggested, looking up from his book of baby’s names at Erica, “We might just take one look at her and know what her name is.” “I don’t want to go through the rest of this pregnancy calling her the baby,” She sighed, “The sooner we get her named picked the sooner that’s done and we can focus on other things.” “You’re only twenty weeks along, we have plenty of time to think this through,” He reminded her. “I just want one thing done,” She blew back, her voice slightly distant as she blinked back tears she didn’t even realized had formed. “Hey,” He breathed, shaking his head as he moved toward her, “it’s okay. It’s okay.” “I didn’t realize how hard this was going to be,” She pushed out through a tearful breath as she moved closer to him so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. He nodded, draping his arm around her, the book of names still in his lap, “Nothing about this is easy,” He admitted, “But it’s going to be worth it in the end.” “I know,” She said, offering him a shaky smile, “I just want her here. I want to graduate, and get married, move to California, get on with the rest of our lives.” “We’re almost there,” He told her, “We’ve come this far, we can make it a little longer.” “It just seems like everything is happening at once,” She sighed. “We can postpone the wedding,” Her offered, watching her shake her head instantly. “I just want to name our daughter,” She told him, tossing him a soft smile. “I already told you my vote,” He reminded her, “You’re the one who doesn’t like it.” “I don’t dislike it, I just…it seems to plain for our child,” She laughed, shaking her head. “I think that’s what makes it the right name for her,” He started, with his most enchanting smile. “Maybe,” She tossed back, “But if you want to win it’s going to take more then that smile to change my mind.” He shook his head, laughing as he flashed her a knowing smile, “How about I go get Chinese?” “That’s good…” She nodded, “but I still need a bit more convincing.” “And ice cream,” He nodded, but she shook her head, “Triple Chocolate Fudge.” “That’s better.” He’d taken such good care of her, of them/ She’d never once doubted his love for her or their daughter. Yet, when their world had crumbled, she’d blamed him for it all. Accused him of not loving her or the daughter. She’d even wished him dead. She blew out a shaky breath and shook her head. He’d probably want nothing to do with her. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even be wiling to hear her out. If he was smart, he’d tell her to go to hell, like she did to him. God, how was she going to do this? To be continued
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Posts: 336 02/21/10 10:11 AM	Aww they were such sweet kids and their parents fucked with them and that wasn't nice. I think if they weren't dead, D&E might make them "dead". Hmm David, he's gonna be happy to see her, isn't he? Even though she cursed him out and bkamed him for everything, their daughter didn't actually die. I want the next chapter, Ive been told its going to be good
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Posts: 5449 03/04/10 1:56 PM Finally Free! David and Erica Addict #1 Porn Nazi! D&E Encyclopedia Volume 1 The Big Cheese Left Arm	Thought it was time we got David's POV, and of course a little D&E for ya. Hope you like. Chapter 4 “Her birthday would be in a few weeks, huh?” The man said, watching his best friend nod, “That’s why the ticket to New York?” “Would have been her sweet sixteen this year,” David Hayward offered his friend with a sad smile, “I need to make sure that I’m there for this one.” His friend nodded, “I know I offer every year, but do you want me to go with you?” He shook his head offering his friend a thankful smile, “This is something I have to do on my own. It’s just one of those things.” His friend nodded, “You should go with Erica.” “I haven’t talked to Erica in fifteen years,” David told him, “And the last time I did, she wished I’d been the one to die, not Amy.” “She was seventeen, I don’t think she knew how to deal with that kind of grief,” His friend said, having watched David pine for Erica for the past fifteen years. The guy never let himself commit or fall in love, because his heart was still broken, and still taken. “She didn’t mean it.” “That’s the thing,” David told him, “Erica didn’t say things she didn’t mean. I know she was grieving, I don’t hold it against her. But I’ve always believed a part of her would have rather Amy lived and I died.” His friend shook his head, “How many times over the years have we seen grown adults lose their minds with grief when they lose a child? You and Erica were kids, nothing either of you said or did after Amy’s death can be held against you.” “If Erica wanted to see me or talk to me, she would have by now,” David told him, shaking his head. “I bet that’s what she’s saying about you,” His friend said, “You’ve been pining for her since that day we met Freshmen year of college. You’ll never be over her, unless you talk to her. You deserve to happy, David, with her or without her.” “You’re telling me I need closure? Need to move on,” He said though a sigh. “This would have been a big birthday for Amy,” His friend said, “You have gone to her grave every year for her birthday. She knows that you love her. That wanted her. You’re not going to forget her if you stop going to her grave.” David nodded, “I know.” “So go this year, tell her you love her, that you miss her and you’ll never forget her. Wait for Erica to get there, tell her the same…and then move on, David. You’re thirty three years old, you have the rest of your life ahead of you….” People always said that to him. Always made it sound that easy. Made it seem like he could just forget it all, and move on with his life. He was a father, who never got to see his child’s face. Never got to hold her. Never got to tell her how beautiful she was, how much she looked like her mother. All he ever saw of her was blood stained linens and Erica…who was hysterical and panicked with grief. That was the last night she let him be close to her. She’d cried herself to sleep that night in his arms. He hadn’t slept. He’d sat wake all night, her head in his lap as he stroked her hair, tears in his eyes. She’d accuse him a week later of never shedding any tears, and she was right. But not for the reasons she accused him. He had to be strong for her. Had to hold himself together so she could keep going. If he’d let himself cry, he may have never stopped, and they both would have lost themselves to their grief. She’d woken up the next morning and asked him for their daughter. He’d never get the look on her face out of his mind, when she’d remembered why he couldn’t get Amy for her. She hadn’t talked to him in three days. He slept on the couch now, because she wanted nothing to do with him, and didn’t seem to even be able to be in the same room with him. He didn’t say anything about it, he’d do whatever she wanted to help her through this. He hadn’t even ventured down to the end of the hallway, where the door to Amy’s nursery was, but he was going there today, because he had a feeling that’s where he’d find Erica. She’d been avoiding it too, but with the funeral tomorrow, he knew she’d need to finally start processing all of this. The door was slightly ajar when he got there, and the light was on. He almost ran away. Almost burst into tears. How was he going to go in there and not fall apart too? He took a deep breath and pushed the door open slowly. Erica was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room. She was wearing a pair of his sweats and a t-shirt. Her hair hadn’t been combed, and she was without any make up. Her eyes were blood shot and puffy, a blank stare in them. Her cheeks were lined with fresh tears. She was crying, but it was the same irrational, hysterical crying he’d seen the night Amy died. Instead she was still, her breathing shallow and slow. She was almost statue like, her tears seeming to flow without her even knowing it. “Erica,” He breathed softly, taking a few steps into the room. She’d told him what she had in mind for Amy’s nursery, and he’d sent her out of the apartment for the weekend, and together with some of his buddies, they’d painted and decorated Amy’s nursery. He thought he was going to overdoes on pink and purple, but it had turned out better then imagined. He shot his eyes to the wall behind her, where big purple block letters spelled out Amy. Something he’d done to surprise Erica, after he’d decided that I did like Amy for the daughter. “Erica,” He said again, but she didn’t move, “I bought home dinner.” He couldn’t remember the last tine he’d seen her eat. She still didn’t move. “When was the last time you ate?” He asked, stopping next to her, and kneel down. She shrugged, “Before.” She told him, not needing to elaborate. “That was days ago,” He shook his head, “You’re going to get sick.” “I don’t care,” She told him, her voice far away and completely devoid of any emotion. “You have to take care of yourself,” He started, blowing out a hard breath. It was taking everything in him not to take her in his arms and let her get lost in the grief. “For who?” She asked, still refusing to look at him, refusing to look anywhere but at Amy’s empty crib. His heart contracted, and it took all he had not to yell at her that she had to fight for herself, for him, for them. “Erica,” He started, but she shook her head. “I held her, David,” She started, her eyes fluttering closed, “I counted fingers and toes. I kissed her cheeks. I watched her heartbeat in her tiny chest. She was alive,” She told him, her voice cracking, “She was prefect…” “Erica,” He started, reaching out to take her hand, She pulled her hand away quickly, “You were supposed to be there.” He nodded, here it was. Finally. “I didn’t know you were in labor.” “You didn’t answer your phone,” She bit out, “I screamed for you.” “I didn’t have reception,” He told her again, trying to keep his composure, trying not to yell, trying to not scream at the injustice of it all, trying not to end up next to her in tears. “You promised,” She said, her voice fading. “If I had known you were in labor,” He started, shaking his head. She turned her head, and finally looked at him, “You were her daddy,” She started, fresh tears already sliding down her cheeks, “You were supposed to protect her.” He blinked past his tears and shook his head, “If I had known….” “If you’d have been there,” She started, her voice harder now, but still devoid or any real emotion, she didn’t even seem angry. “If I had been there, maybe things would have been different,” He conceded, “But we’ll never know.” “You were supposed to take the day off,” She told him, melting into her tears, “We were supposed to go together. You were supposed to be there.” “I have to go when they call me, Erica, it’s part of the deal for me to get into Stanford, you know that,” He told her, chocking back his tears. “You were supposed to protect her,” She said again, her voice harder and more pointed this time. “You’re never going to forgive me for that, are you?” He asked, suddenly, as he realized what that look in her eyes really meant, what her voice really revealed. “I wish she was here,” She told him, “I’d give my last breath if she were here.” He nodded, “And you don’t think I’d do the same?” She narrowed her eyes at him, “I wish she was here and you weren’t.” He was pretty sure that his heart shattered, but he refused to give in and fall apart with her, “If I could do that for you, Erica, I would.” He meant it and she knew he did, but that didn’t matter. She’d never forgive him. She’d never be able to look at him and not see their daughter, not see the fact that he wasn’t there when they’d needed him most. “I can’t…”She started, but the words got caught in the back of her throat. He nodded, watching her move for the first time…to take off her ring. “I can’t…” She cried, sliding the ring off and into her hand. “Erica,” He started, but she shook her head, reaching out to take his hand, so she could put the ring in his palm. “I can’t,” She told him, losing herself in her sobs, pushing the ring into his palm. She would never forgive him. He shook his head and caught her hand before she pull it away, “Erica,” He started, “I know….” “What do you know?” She asked, “You never cry. You never act like you’re sad. You don’t even care.” “Come on, that’s not fair,” He tried to tell her, but she wouldn’t listen. “Just go,” She bit out, pushing his hand and the ring away, “Go to college. Go to med school. Forget, this,” She said, motioning around Amy’s room, “ever happened. “ He sighed, and leaned forward, his lips catching her forehead before she could turn away, “I love you,” He told her, hard and pointed, “And I love Amy. I would give my own life for her, Erica. You know that. If there was anything I could do to give her back to you, I would. I will never forget her,” He told her, his lips lingering against her forehead. Her sobs shifted now, into the kind of irrational ones she’d fallen into when he’d found her after Amy died. He left the ring on the floor next to her, “No matter what happens, Erica, that’s always going to be your ring.” He watched her fall apart as he moved a way. Watched her tears strengthen in force, watched her lean forward and bow her head. Any other time, he’d be right next to her, holding her as tightly as he could. But right now, he was sure that would only send her closer to losing it completely. He pushed himself up to standing, and closed his eyes. He said a silent prayer, though he wasn’t sure who exactly he was praying too, or if there was anyone actually up there listening…but he still wanted someone to watch over Erica, to watch over Amy. Take care of them the way he hadn’t been able too. He walked out of the room as quickly as he could, without looking back at her, or the room. He pulled the door closed and leaned against it, eyes floating shut. How was he supposed to get Erica through this, when he had no idea what that meant? He was eighteen years old, watching his fiancee break into pieces over the death o their newborn daughter. They were supposed to be happy. Supposed to be adjusting to parenthood. Adapting to life with a baby as they finished high school. They were supposed to be planning a wedding a move to California. And now, now, they’d be lucky if they managed to take another breath. Nearly twelve hours since she’d listen to her mother confess that their daughter was alive, Erica stood outside the ER doors of the hospital David worked at in London. All she had to do was walk through those doors, find him, and tell him. She blew out a hard laugh. She didn’t even really believe, how was she going to tell him? How was she going to look him eyes and know that she’d broken his heart when he’d needed her most in the world? It was easy to pretend she didn’t miss him. That she still hated him. That he meant nothing to her. But now, now it was all different. She took a deep breath and willed herself to start for the door. Her mind drifting back to the final time they’d spoken…as the reality that she’d be speaking to him in minds…set in. It snowed for the first time all winter, that morning. Coating the grassy ground of the cemetery with freshly fallen snow. They sky had cleared about an hour before the service, and sun hung high in the sky. There was a slight breeze that nipped at the edge of the trees as it whipped by. Not that she noticed. Or cared. Her eyes were fixed on the tiny casket that was about to be lowered into the open grave to its right. It was taking everything she had not to throw herself on top of the casket and go with her daughter. People told her she wouldn’t know what it meant to be a mother until she’d held her child. That the love she thought she felt would only multiple when that little person was laid in her arms. She hadn’t understood what they meant until Amy laid against her chest. How could she ever love anyone more then she had her daughter in that moment? It didn’t matter that she was seventeen. That she wasn’t even through high school. When her mother had laid Amy in her arms, she became a mother. And she’d wanted to be, more then anything. She’d been willing to forgo every dream she ever had to be that little girls mother. And now it was all gone. Every possible smile. Every possible laugh. First steps. First words. Fights about makeup and boys. All laid before her in a tiny white box. David stood next to her, not that she was paying attention. Not that she’d seen him move to lay a single pink rose and a teddy bear on top of their daughters casket. He’d stood there, hand atop of the wood, his tears burning his eyes as he bite them back with so much force, his lip bled. He told her he was sorry he’d failed her. That he was sorry that he couldn’t even be a good father to her for the few minutes she was in their life. He vowed on a broken whisper that he would never forget her. That he’d never take a breath without missing her. That he’d see her in his dreams. He’d mused that she was probably the prettiest angel to ever grace heavens gate, and then told her to rest in peace. He’d finally moved to stand next to Erica again, after giving the undertakers permission to lower Amy’s casket. She took his hand, then. Her fingers lacing through his. He moved to stand in front of her, block her view, neither of them needing to see their daughters final journey. He slid his arms around her, and closed his eyes in a desperate attempt to keep his tears at bay. . She’d collapsed against his chest. Her tears so violent that she shook. He kept her standing, holding her as close and as tight as he could manage. Her right hand stand in his, and her left gripped at his jacket, as she blew almost irrational sobs into his chest. “It’s okay,” He breathed, as she gripped him closer, “She’s at peace.” “She’s supposed to be with us,” She murmured into his chest. She was supposed to be with them. They were supposed to be at home, learning how to change diapers, and complaining about getting up at all hours for feedings. He was supposed to have seen her sweet face and kissed her cheeks. He was supposed to have looked into those brown eyes of hers and fall hopelessly in love with her. He hadn’t realized until he’d gotten to the cabin and realized that Erica had given birth just how much he wanted to be a father, “We should go,” He finally said, pushing through his tears. “I can’t leave her,” She told him, her tears slowing as she started to move out of her arms. “You can’t stay here, Erica,” He told her, “It’s probably going to snow again. You need to eat. We have to think about getting back to school soon.” She stepped away from him, and turned wide, emotionless eyes on him, “School?” She bit out angrily, “Food? Cold? What the hell does any of it matter? What the hell does it mean if I eat? If I go to school. I just put my heart in box in the ground.” “I know that,” He told her, nodding, “but we have to keep…” “Keep what, David?” She bit out, tears still falling down her cheeks, “What is there to keep going for?” She asked, watching him shake his head, “We have the rest of our lives ahead of us,” He told her, “She’d want us to keep going.” “She’d want to be here with us,” She challenged, “Just go,” She told him, shaking her head, “It’s not like you care anyway.” “You know I care,” He shot back, trying to keep his cool, trying to remember that she was mourning, that she was trying to work through her grief. “Yes, yes, I do,” She threw back at him, “You don’t cry. You sleep at night. You go to work at the damn hospital. You just keep going.” “I have to keep going,” He tossed back, shaking his head, she really thought he didn’t ache the same way she did? “Because we can’t both let go of life.” “I already told you to go, David. Go home. Eat. Be warm. Go back to school tomorrow. Go to work,” She spit out, though her voice wasn’t angry or hard, instead it was empty and raw, “Go to college and to California. Be a doctor and forget all of this.” “How can you stand there and say that to me?” He asked, his voice defeated now. She was never going to get past this. “One day, you’ll have another daughter of your own, an you’ll forget her name. It be like she never existed,” She told him, “That’s what you want, isn’t it?” He shook his head and took a step toward her, “I named, her, Erica. I painted her nursery. I put together a God damn crib,” He started, his voice hard and angry, but there were tears stinging his eyes again, “I read books about how to be a good father and cried every time we saw her.” She let out whimper at that, and closed her eyes. “I just stood at her casket and told her that I was sorry I failed her. That I would spend the rest of my life loving and missing her,” He told her, watching her shake her head, “I never even got to see her face,” He breathed, “You got to hold her. You got to see her. Kiss her cheeks. I have to imagine her.” “David,” She gasped, eyes fluttering open. “I can’t do this with you, Erica,” He told her, “I can’t have you look at me like that. Like you want me gone. Like I remind you of her. Like you would give every breath in your body to trade me for Amy. She was my daughter too,” He told her, shaking his head as he started past her. “David,” She cried, reaching out to grab his hand before he got to far away, “I…” “I love you, Erica. Always,” He told her, offering her a soft smile, “But I’m not going to wait around and hope that one day you stop blaming me. It’s not fair to either of us.” She watched him walk away, without even looking back. Part of her wanted to scream for him. Call him back. Hold onto him with all she had. And part of her knew he was right. She did blame him. She did see Amy every time she looked into his eyes. She did want him gone, not really, she loved him, she always would…but that irrational part of her knew that he failed her that he’d fail her again…and she’d still be without her daughter. “Miss Kane?” The sound of the nurses voice pulled her from her thoughts. When did she walk up to the nurses station? And when did she asked where she could find David. “Dr. Hayward’s office is on the second floor. Number 19.” She nodded deftly, offering the woman a soft thanks. She hardly remembered walking through the doors. “I think you should let me fix you up,” David’s friend said, as they headed for the nurses station, David next to him shaking his head. “I’m not looking for a relationship,” David told him, shaking his head. Erica froze at the desk, knowing his voice almost instantly. He was coming closer. In just a matter of seconds she would be face to face with him for the first time in fifteen years. For the first time as adults. For the first time knowing that Amy was alive. “You need to call her and talk, move on,” His friend continued as they headed toward the desk. “I don’t think I can ever…” He paused as he caught sight of her. She’d turned to face, well more to see him. See the man he’d turned into. He’d clearly recognized her. “Erica,” Her name sounded almost foreign in his ears. His friend cast a glance from David to the woman at the counter and then back to David. David stared at her, his eyes trying to take in every inch of her. He’d seen her numerous times on the cover of a million different magazines. He knew she was as beautiful as ever. He’d just hadn’t realized that she just had to stand there looking back at him, to make his heart feel like it was beating for the first time in fifteen years. To be continued
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drdavidfan2		#5	[url]	[-]
Posts: 336 03/04/10 9:46 PM	Awwwww, it's makes me so sad that they had to go through that, especially David who had no control over anything and he is blamed for it all. Good thing Amy is still alive! 15 years or 15 minutes it doesn't matter. they'll always love each other and that isn't going away
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DandEfan		#6	[url]	[-]
Posts: 5449 03/08/10 4:25 PM Finally Free! David and Erica Addict #1 Porn Nazi! D&E Encyclopedia Volume 1 The Big Cheese Left Arm	Chapter 5 She took a deep breath and took a few steps toward him. God he looked good. He looked like the David she remembered, only he was a man now. “Hi,” She breathed when they were close enough to each other that if she reached out, she could touch him. “Hi,” He blew back, his eyes locked with hers. She wanted to say something, but words seemed to fail her. “Are you alright?” He asked, watching her offer him a confused eyebrow in return. “This hospital is a long way from California.” “I’m fine,” She offered, through a soft smile, “I just…” “David,” His friend started from next to him, not sure why he was interrupting but feeling that they both needed someone to jumpstart their conversation. He figured it was probably hard to talk to the person you loved, and lost, fifteen years after burying your child as teenagers. “Hmmm,” He said, offering his friend a quick glance, “oh, Connor Jordan, this is Erica Kane. Erica Kane, Connor Jordan.” She offered him a soft smile and extended her hand, “It’s nice to meet you.” “Likewise,” He nodded, “I’ve heard a lot about you.” She cocked her head and tossed David a confused glance. “He knows,” David breathed, watching her nod in understanding. “Oh,” She nodded, “I …that’s…I” She started, trying to figure this out. What the hell was she supposed to say to him? “Oh by the way, the last sixteen years were a lie. Amy is alive?” “….that’s actually why I’m here.” Connor studied David’s profile, watching his face twist as Erica evoked more memories of their daughter. “You want to talk about Amy?” David asked, shaking his head, “I don’t understand,” He pushed out, “I don’t see you for fifteen years. The last time you spoke to me you wanted me dead instead of Amy and now you show up here wanting to talk about her.” She swallowed back a hard gulp of air and her eyes drifted shut, “I know this is completely out of the blue,” She started, sliding her eyes back open, so she could look up at him, “but I…we just….we need to talk.” He opened his mouth to question her, find out why now…why here., why a few weeks from Amy’s sixteenth birthday.. when he caught the look in her eyes. He saw tears welling. He saw fear and apprehension. And he even saw a mix of happiness behind the tears. “We can go to my office, if you’ve got a few minutes.” She offered him a soft smile and blinked back her tears, “You have and office?” He smiled back at her, and motioned toward the elevators, “I’m sure it’s not as big as yours.” She laughed at that, her smile brightening slightly as she realized it was the first time she laughed in days. She wasn’t sure how she was even going to approach this, but it helped that he at the very least seemed willing to hear her out. It was more then she’d hoped for. Ten minutes later, and he was staring at the now wavy computer screen, the last of the DVD having just finished playing. He was sitting at his desk, and she was standing to his right, in a position where she couldn’t see the screen. She was crying again, hard, hot, tears, her body shaking as she finished listening to her mother tell the story again. She didn’t think she would have survived watching it again, and by the look on his face, she wasn’t sure he wasn’t handling it all much better. They made small talk in the elevator up to his office. They’d avoided anything remotely personal as they walked to his office. She didn’t know how to deal with him as an adult. As a doctor. He looked good in that white coat, but she always knew he would. She broke the news to him after they were in his office. He’d laughed with disbelief, and then stared at her in confusion when she showed him the DVD. He thought she was crazy, she say it in his eyes. Probably having some kind of breakdown, so close to Ashley’s birthday. Not that she blamed him. The whole thing was crazy. And they hadn’t spoken in fifteen years. She’d convinced him to sit down and watch the DVD, listen to her mothers words and watch her face. Amy was alive. It was the first time she’d said it aloud. It made perfect sense that he was the first one she said it. “David,” She finally blew out a few seconds later, trying to steady her voice through her tears. He didn’t respond, at least not with words. She watched him lower his head, against his desk. She could hear him crying, and she closed her eyes, biting her lip to keep control. She’d never seen him cry before, at least not about Amy. She pushed her eyes open and stepped forward, letting her hand move to his shoulder. When he didn’t shrug away her touch, she trailed her palm over his neck and into his hair, something she used to do when they were together. Something she did a lot after his father died and he’d cry himself to sleep in her lap. “David,” She said again, watching him lift his head from the desk and slowly turn his head to look at her. “If this is a joke…” He started, but she shook her head. “You took it better then I did,” She told him, “I fainted into my mothers lawyers arms,” She started, “And then I called the airport. I didn’t even go home to pack I just…well, I mean some one had to tell you and…” She was so lost in her hesitant rambling that she hadn’t even seen him get up from his chair until his hands were cupping her face. She opened her mouth to ask what was going on, when his lips pressed against hers. She didn’t fight him. She didn’t try to stop him either. Instead, she parted her lips with a tearful gasp, and leaned into him. She’d forgotten what it was like to be kissed by him. What it was like to be in his arms. She felt like she as safe. Like she was home. Like she as alive. For the first time in fifteen years again. And it wasn’t just because of Amy. He should be thinking a million things. Asking her a million questions. He should be dealing with the fact that the last fifteen years of his life were a lie. But all he could do was kiss her. Taste her lips. Taste her breath. Get lost in the way she made him feel, even after all these years. He let the kiss go a few more seconds, before he peeled his lips away from hers. He rested his forehead against hers, hands still on her cheeks. Her eyes fluttered open to meet his, which were staring back at her, with so much emotion she thought she might burst. “I’ve wanted to do that for fifteen years,” He told her, offering her a soft smile. “I know,” She breathed, nodding. He swallowed back a hard breath, and leaned back so he could look into her eyes, “She’s alive.” Erica nodded, through a watery smile. “She is.” “I want to find her,” He told her, his voice firm and pointed. She smiled brightly at that, any doubt that she’d made the right decision to tell him, melting into the smile he flashed her, “Oh god, David,” She breathed, falling into his arms. He held her close, tight, Just like that day in the cemetery. Only this time the tears she cried into his jacket were tears of joy. Tears of relief. Tears of anger and heartbreak. And he hoped, they were tears from the realization of that all time they’d lost…and all the time they were going to find, together. To be continued Which All My Children Character Are You? More on All My Children. Created by BuddyTV
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DandEfan		#7	[url]	[-]
Posts: 5449 03/21/10 3:44 PM Finally Free! David and Erica Addict #1 Porn Nazi! D&E Encyclopedia Volume 1 The Big Cheese Left Arm	Chapter 6 “Vanessa left me a bunch of stuff,” David told Erica, shaking his head as he looked across the table at her, “but it’s all in boxes at my place in New York. I never cared enough to look through any of them.” She nodded, “If Mona was right, then paper work about Amy’s adoption so be in those boxes.” “Why don’t I think it’s going to be that simple?” He asked, watching her eyes flutter shut. After he’d pulled himself together, he’d gone to the Resident in charge and told them he was taking the res of the day off, that it was an emergency. Though, it was all just a formal thing, seeing as he’d already finished with his patients for the day and really only had paperwork left. He’d offered to buy her lunch so they could talk, figure this all out, without having to deal with prying eyes and ears. He’d taken her to a small café just down the street from the hospital, though he figured neither of them would actually eat, it was still nice to sit outside what was an unusually warm January day in London. “It doesn’t matter how easy or how hard it’s going to be,” Erica told him, pushing her eyes open as she looked across the table at him, “We have to find her.” “I want to find her, Erica,” He told her, “I need to find her,” He shook his head now, needing them both to understand this before they want any further, “She’s going to be sixteen in two weeks. She’s not a baby anymore. She’s not even a little girl anymore. She’s almost an adult, who has her own life, her own identify, her own family.” She nodded deftly, “I was just thinking about that. Her name probably isn’t even Amy.” “I don’t even believe it,” He mused, “I mean, I always thought it was strange that they never let you hold her after she died, and that my mother wouldn’t let me see her body…but this.” “It’s disgusting,” She bite out, anger drenching her words. He nodded, “I can’t believe someone would do that to their children, to their grandchild.” “We would have never let her out of our sight,” Erica told him, offering him a soft smile, “They knew that.” “And what makes it even more disgusting is that neither of us ended up going into the family business. So all that money they were worried about being shared, wouldn’t have happened anyway.” She sighed and shook her head, “How do we do this, David?” He shook his head and leaned forward, reaching out to take her hand that rest on the table in front of her, “We survived what we thought was her death. If we can make it through that, we can make it through anything.” She offered him a thankful smile and let her fingers lace with his, “I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me,” She admitted softly, her voice almost a whisper. “It’s been a long time, Erica,” He replied, “I stopped being angry with you a long time ago.” “Still,” She started, but he shook his head, not ready for this part of the conversation yet,. “We can talk about all of that later, right now we have to decide what our next move is going to be.” “We have to go to New York, see if the files are in the things Vanessa left you,” She told him, “And then we go find Amy.” “We can’t do this on our own,” He started, “We didn’t put her up for adoption Erica, none of this is legal. Amy is still legally our daughter. We can’t just find her and find her family and tell them to give her back to us.” “I didn’t even think of that,” She breathed, “We’ll need to find a lawyer.” “A lawyer,” He said back to her, shaking his head a he ran a hand through his hair, “the police have to be involved. This could even turn into a court battle if her parents resisted us contacting her.” “I don’t want to do anything to upset her life,” She breathed, the reality of all of this finally starting to set in, “David I can’t live the rest of my life without seeing her. Hugging her,” She told him, her voice cracking as tears welled in her eyes, “Even if it’s just once.” “I will put her in your arms, Erica,” He vowed, his voice firm and unwavering. She blinked back tears, and nodded at him, the conviction in his words so strong and meaningful that it made heart skip a beat. How could she have ever doubted him? His love for her or for Amy?” “We’ll take it slow,” He told her, “Do this right. Make sure that no one can ever take her from us again.” “She’s lucky to have you,” She breathed, watching his eyes flutter shut, “She always was.” He opened his eyes a few seconds later, and offered her a grateful smile. “Lets try and get through lunch, before we get to far ahead of ourselves. You need to get some food in you.” She smiled and nodded, “Then I should probably find a place to stay,. I didn’t even think about that,” She admitted, laughing. “You can stay with me,” He said, only half asking. She raised an eyebrow at him and shook her head, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “I think we can handle it,” He laughed, “Besides, we need time to catch up, Get to know each other again. I don’t want us to be as much strangers to each other as we are to Amy.” She nodded, “I don’t even have any clothes to sleep in.” “We’ll go shopping,” He offered. “You hate shopping,” She laughed, shaking her head at him. He shrugged, “I can handle it in the name of making sure you’re taken care of.” She was pretty sure this wasn’t a good idea, but the way he was looking at her, the way he’d always looked at her…like he would do anything to make her happy, was to much to resist. She was worried when she got her if he’d hate her. And now she was worried about whether or not she could make it through all of this without falling in love with him again. Or at least let herself she believe she didn’t still love him. She was pretty sure she’d never stopped, anyway. He’d told her once that’d he loved her when he was ten and he’d love her when he was eighty, and looking into his now, she was pretty sure he meant it. And worse yet, she was pretty sure she did too. To be continued
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drdavidfan2		#8	[url]	[-]
Posts: 336 03/21/10 3:57 PM	Ah the journey to getting Amy back, if that is her name now Looks like it's going to be a rough emotional journey, not only to getting to Amy but to keep themselves from falling in love again...Haha like they ever fell out of love! You crazy kids are heading for the bed
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DandEfan		#9	[url]	[-]
Posts: 5449 04/05/10 10:40 AM Finally Free! David and Erica Addict #1 Porn Nazi! D&E Encyclopedia Volume 1 The Big Cheese Left Arm	The next chapter will D&E heavy as well. I want to get them "moving" before they find Amy, because I want Amy to be the focus and not solely on them as a couple. Chapter 7 “I’m sorry London couldn’t manage a day of sun for you,” David offered with a soft smile, as he and Erica set the table at his flat. “It’s still a beautiful country,” She replied with a smile, “It was a lovely day anyway, thank you for showing me around.” He’d taken her shopping at all the finest stores on High Street. He’d gone about five minutes before he’d reached for her hand. He couldn’t explain his need to be close to her, but she didn’t seem to mind. She’d tossed him a soft smile and laced her fingers through his. They didn’t talk about it. They didn’t dwell on it. They just went with it. They kept their conversation light and took the chance to get to know each other again. He charmed her into modeling the clothes she was buying. It felt like they’d never missed a moment. Like they’d been together and happily married for the last sixteen years. Anyone else would say that in the span of a few hours he’d fallen in love with her again. But he’d be the first to admit that there was no again. He’d never stopped loving her. She was the reason why all of his relationships had failed. She was the reason why he ran from relationships as soon as things got serious. He couldn’t love another woman, he didn’t want to. He wanted her, he always had. Always would. They’d gone to lunch at his favorite Italian takeaway to pick up dinner, and got caught in the rain on their way back to his flat. He forgot that her hair curled when it was wet. He’d forgotten how naturally beautiful she was. “It was nice to have company,” He offered, and she smiled. “Dinner smells fantastic,” She told him, as they laid out the food, “I’m starving.” “Good,” He smiled, “I hope you like it.” “This has been really nice, David,” She offered, “I didn’t realized how much I’d missed…” “Us,” He finished, “I feel the same. I’ve missed you, Erica.” She offered him a sweet smile, and he tossed her one back, moving to pull her chair out. “I know,” She admitted, watching him take a seat across from her. “I never thought we’d be here again,” He offered, taking the lid off their food. “Me either,” She breathed, offering him a soft smile. Dinner was slow and delicious, though, they’d both admit they spent more time talking and laughing then they had eating. They’d finished dinner after hardly touching their food, and moved to his couch, where they finally agreed it was time to talk about the real issues at hand. David on the phone with the airline companies trying to arrange their flight to New York. He didn’t figure they’d be able to get a flight for at least another day, much to her disappointment. Though, the more time they had to discuss their options, the less likely they were to act on emotion and do something to keep Amy from them longer. “The soonest flight we can get is 11AM Monday, is that alright with you?” David asked, hand over the phone. She nodded quickly, listening to him book their tickets. She still didn’t quite believe all of this. And she probably wouldn’t until Amy stood before them. “We land at JFK at 4AM Monday morning,” He told her after hanging up the phone. “That seems so far away,” She breathed, “I don’t know how I’m going to make it through all of this. It’s taking all I have not to scream and yell at anyone who will listen to give me back my daughter.” He nodded through an understanding laugh, “I know. But we have to focus on the fact that we know she’s alive and we know where to start.” “I keep thinking about her,” She told him, “I mean, not that I didn’t before. She’s always been with me. But now, now, I keep thinking about what she looks like. Does she still look so much like you? What is her personality like? I imagine her to be hell on heels,” She laughed lightly, “With our genes, she has to be the most stubborn, feisty, pigheaded, teenager ever.” He nodded, but his smile faded. She had memories of Amy to picture. A face she could age in her head. He didn’t. This couldn’t be real to him until Amy was in his arms. “David?” She breathed, watching his eyes go dark. He shook his head, “I just want to find her.” She nodded, but she wasn’t convinced, “Every time I try to bring up what happened….after her death,” She started softly, “You change the subject. Is that because you’re to angry with to talk about it?” He sighed, “We were kids, Erica. We fell in love as children. We got engaged, were sleeping together before you could even drive a car. We lived together, were planning a wedding and decorating a nursery. We weren’t even through our Senior year and we had a house, and a baby on the way. When Amy died,” He breathed, shaking his head, “It all became real. I don’t think we were anywhere near ready to deal with the reality of our loss.” She nodded, eyes fluttering shut as her memories tried to rush back through her mind. “David I,” She tried to start, but he stopped her with a shake of his head and a soft smile. “I don’t blame you and I don’t hate you, Erica.” He told her, his voice firm and honest. “No, but you should,” She told him, eyes fluttering open again, so she could look into his eyes, “I said horrible things to you, David. I threw our entire relationship away because I couldn’t see past my grief. I blamed you for things you had no control over.” “Do you really think I didn’t know that, Erica?” He asked, sliding closer to her, “I knew you didn’t mean it. I knew you were grieving. I also knew that you were seventeen. That you carried, gave birth to, and held our daughter. If you wouldn’t have lashed out, you wouldn’t be human.” She blinked at him, tears welling in her eyes, “Nothing made sense, then.,” She told him, her voice shaking, “I wanted you to fix it. I wanted to fix it. I wanted it all to have never happened, at all. I hated you. I hated myself. I hated life. Pushing you away was the easiest way for me to cope, to not have to deal with everything. I always…” “I know,” He told her, “Erica, you’ve been back in my life less then twelve hours and it’s taking all the self control I have not to touch you. Not to kiss you.” “David,” She breathed, watching him shake his head. “Erica, I’m thirty two years old, and since we broke up, I’ve never had a relationship last longer then a few months,” He confessed, “I’ve never loved another woman. I’ve never wanted to.” “David,” She started, trying to stop him from saying it. She didn’t want him to say it, she could see it in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. She always had. “You know that I love you, that I always have.” She blow out a hard breath, and closed her eyes, despite the fact that a few tears had already managed to slid down her cheeks. “You don’t want to love me, David. You have no idea how screwed up I am,” She said through a half laugh, half sigh. He laughed lightly and scooted toward her, moving his hands up to his face, “I’m just as screwed up as you are. But I think finding Amy is going to help straighten us up.” “You don’t know,” She shook her head, “there has only been one other man, David, and he broke up with me because I told him I would abort any children I might ever get pregnant with,” She told him, knowing how horrible her confession was, “ I know I sound like a terrible person, but the idea of giving birth to another child who wasn’t Amy, who wasn’t yours…” He nodded, understanding exactly what she meant. He didn‘t want anyone else to be his wife. And he didn‘t want to be the father of any other children. “Erica, I knew when I was eleven years old that no matter what happened, no matter what life threw at us, that would never be anyone else.” He thumbed at her tears, “I’m not asking you for anything. The last thing either of need right now is to jump back into things. But after we find Amy, after we have her back in our lives, I don’t plan to let you go. Not this not. Not without a fight.” She flashed him a watery smile at that, “I can’t make any promises, David. There is still so much baggage, so much hurt and so much confusion that I don’t know if we can find our way out.” “I just want the chance to fight for you, Erica,” He breathed, eyes still liked with hers, “I want the chance I didn’t take sixteen years ago.” “I think you have your work cut out for you,” She breathed and nodded with a smile. “I think I’m up for it,” He offered, watching her eyes flutter shut as he leaned in catch her lips. It was a soft, sweet, kiss. His lips moving softly against hers. He wasn’t going to push this kiss, or her. The last thing they needed now was to do something they’d both regret. They needed to be united for this fight. They needed to stand together to find their daughter. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to make sure that she understood where they stood. She pulled away after a few seconds, and rested her forehead against his this time. “All I can promise is that I won’t run or push you away.” He nodded, thumbing at her tears as he brushed away a strand of hair, “That’s all I ask,” He smiled, “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” It was all he ever wanted. It was Erica. It was Amy, well, it would be Amy soon enough. It was the closest thing to a family that he’d had in years. And he’d be damned if he ever let this go again. To be continued
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drdavidfan2		#10	[url]	[-]
Posts: 336 04/05/10 12:19 PM	Ouch, Erica had some pretty harsh words for her former beau, she'd never have any kids by him She'd only have David's kids <3 Ugh all this talking, and teasing with kisses! I want some as much as David does! Can't wait until they find Amy, or at least are closer than England LMAO <3
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DandEfan		#11	[url]	[-]
Posts: 5449 04/26/10 1:46 PM Finally Free! David and Erica Addict #1 Porn Nazi! D&E Encyclopedia Volume 1 The Big Cheese Left Arm	Chapter 8 It was after 7AM when they finally made it to New York. The last few days had blown by, and they’d been hit with so many emotions that it was a wonder either of them was still awake. They should probably sleep before diving into all the boxes. But they both knew they wouldn’t be able to close their eyes until they knew where Amy was. It was still so surreal. The two of them together, looking for their daughter, looking for each other again. Neither would admit it, but both hoped that they’d find Amy and everything would finally make sense. That after all these years of just existing they would be able to start living again. That they’d learn to breathe, learn to laugh, to love, to feel, again. That all the pain and heartache would melt into Amy’s brown eyes. He held his apartment door open for her, “Don’t mind all the boxes. I didn’t have time to unpack before I got my residency in London.” She nodded, offering him a soft smile. She was nervous. She was scared. She was so happy and excited that her hands trembled at the mere thought that the next time she left this apartment, she would know the location of their daughter. He closed the door behind them, and shook his head, “I don’t even know where to start,” He admitted, “I didn’t want anything to do with whatever Vanessa left for me.” “Understandable,” She offered, “I think it might be kind of fun to go through all of this.” He nodded, “Especially since we know what’s waiting for us when it’s all said and done.” “Amy,” She breathed, watching him nod as he reached out to take her hand. He nodded, offering her a reassuring smile as he started them toward the boxes. “David,” She breathed, eyes locked on the boxes that lay before them. The reality of the situation was finally creeping in, and she was beginning realize that whatever they found in the boxes officially made the last sixteen years of a her life a lie, “how are we going to do this? Really?” He shook his head, her hand still in his as he stopped them near the first box. He offered her a soft smile as he turned to face her, “We just go one step at time.” “I just wish I knew what those were,” She sighed, “Right now, she’s Amy. She’s the little girl we thought was dead. She’s this miracle I can’t wait to find. But when we find that paperwork…” She shook her head, eyes fluttering shut as she pushed the words out, “we’ll more then likely find out that her name isn’t Amy. She may not look like us anymore. She may be nothing like us. She may not even want anything to do with us. I don’t know if I could handle that.” He sighed, “That’s all a reality we’re going to have to brace ourselves for. For all we know, she doesn’t even know that she’s adopted,” He admitted, “There’s so many ways it can all happen. But right now, I think we need to focus on finding her and worry about all of that as it comes along.” She nodded and offered him a soft smile, “You choose which box we start with.” Thirty minutes later and they were camped out on his living room floor, making their way through the second of the four boxes Vanessa had left to David. They hadn’t yet found any information as to Amy’s location. Though, neither of them was complaining. They were currently finishing a box of photographs and knickknacks that David had left in his room when he went off to college. “How old were in his?” Erica laughed, pulling the last picture for the box. He shook his head, laughing as he took in the picture of them. It was probably one of the summers they went to the lake, and he figured they were thirteen or fourteen. “We look like babies,” He laughed and she nodded. “It seems like such a long time ago,” She smiled, and he nodded. “It does seem like a life time ago,” He agreed, leaning forward so he could tear open another box. “And yet here we are,” She breathed, watching him pull open the cardboard box. He nodded and reached into the box. It didn’t take him long to realize that this box was the one they’d been waiting for. Erica watched his body tense, and heard the deep breath he drew in. “David?” She asked, watching him stay completely still. “What is it?” “It’s the file on her adoption,” He pushed back, before moving so he was sitting next to her again, It was an old manila folder that had nothing more then Amy’s birthday written across the front. She drew in a hard breath, and his hands shook slightly as he tried to open the file. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this,” She blew out, watching him nod as he finally started to pull himself together. “I think this has been waiting for us to open it for to long as it is,” He said, offering her a soft smile. “Everything we know changes when we open that file,” She breathed, watching shake his head. “No,” He offered softly, flipping the file open in one quick move, “everything will finally be right.” He wasn’t ready for what his eyes took in once the file was open. For the first time in his life, he was looking at a picture of his daughter. Looking into her big brown eyes. She wasn’t a newborn in this photo, her quickly realized, seeing the gummy smile she flashed the camera and the way her dark hair was clipped on top of her head. She had to have been at least a month old in the picture. Erica watched his face and leaned toward the file, needing to read whatever it was he was reading. “David what is it?” She asked, as he tipped the file toward her. “Oh my god,” Erica gasped, eyes locking on the picture. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t do anything but stare at his daughter. He memorized her eyes. Their color. Their shape. He traced her tiny nose with his eyes, his mind racing at whether she had his nose or Erica’s or if it was her own tiny nose. Her lips were twisted into a smile, though, a one month old didn’t really smile. But he was convinced she’d have her mothers smile. He’d always believed that he would have fallen hopeless in love with this child the first time he saw her, but he never imagined it would feel like this. Erica cried softly, a few tears falling down her cheeks. Part of her still didn’t believe it. That this was Amy. That this picture, this child, was her little girl at about a month old. Alive. Healthy. Hopefully safe. Until this moment she hadn’t really believed it. “David,” She finally breathed after a few seconds, her eyes managing to move from Amy to him. He’d moved a hand so he could run a finger along the picture, trace the outline of her face. “She’s beautiful,” He breathed, his words almost lost in the tears he wasn’t even trying to shed. She nodded and gasped sharply, as it dawned on her that this was the first time he’d ever seen their daughter. “Oh David,” She blew out, sliding closer to him. “I always imagined that she’d look like you,” He tried to get out, eyes still focused only on Amy, “but I never thought she’d…” “Look like you too,” She finished, offering him a smile, despite the fact that she knew he wasn’t looking at her, “That’s the funny thing about genetics,” She started, eyes sliding down to the picture, “they seem to be able to blend better in life then we’d ever even imagine.” “I have the feeling that if her adoptive father hasn’t already locked her up, I’m going to have too,” He said, smiling softly at the thought of him being this child’s father for the first time. “Teenage boys are dangerous.” Erica laughed out loud at that, and leaned over so she could rest her head on his should, “True, but she wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for one of those dangerous teenage boys.” “You bought the condoms,” He reminded her, laughing, his eyes sliding off Amy’s picture for the first time, so he could look down at Erica. She nodded and turned her head, resting her chin on his shoulder so she could look up at him. Her eyes flicked with life, and she flashed him a knowing smile, “True. But can you fault me? I knew what I wanted.” “Maybe it’s not teenage boys who are the dangerous ones,” He teased, “If Amy is anything like you, it’s the boys who will need to be locked up.” She laughed again, but her smile faded, “What do you think her name is?” She asked, realizing that they may be looking at “Amy” for the last time. He shook his head, “We can flip to the next page and find out.” She shook her head, “No, I mean, yes. But not right now. Can we just look at her for a little longer?” “I could look at her forever,” He replied, “I think this is as much a part of the process of actually finding her.” She nodded, “It’s hard to believe we made her.” “We did a good job,” He replied, and she nodded, still looking up at him. “We always did things better together,” She acknowledged, leaning against him, “I’m sorry, David.” He didn’t have to ask what she meant. He didn’t need to know why she was saying it. He knew she was talking about how they’d ended. The sixteen years they’d missed with each other. The sixteen years that they’d spent wondering what would have been. He was sorry too. “Lets just forget all of that, and enjoy this moment. We can deal with that all later. Right now, we’ve got the first imagine of our daughter in sixteen years, and when we’re ready, we’ll have her location. I don’t any of that matters anymore.” She smiled and nodded, and turned her head again, so it rested against his shoulder. So they could both memorize the picture. She knew that they were close to finding Amy. That just behind the photo was the truth they’d been denied for years. But at the moment, all she wanted to do was sit right where she was with David and breathe in the image of their daughter. Of their past. Of their future. For the first time in sixteen years, she felt like she was alive. Like she was whole. Like she could learn to breathe again. Learn to feel. And maybe, maybe, she could learn to love again. To be continued Last Edited By: DandEfan 04/26/10 1:54 PM. Edited 1 time.
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drdavidfan2		#12	[url]	[-]
Posts: 336 04/26/10 4:18 PM	Must Review, Must review. That's what I've been telling myself(okay so the author told me too)! Please tell me that they find out where she is and try finding her next chapter! Not sure how much longer we can all go without knowing (Or is there something special next chapter? ) Don't worry kids there will be plenty of time to learn to do all those things again, not that they haven't always known how to love and breathe each other <3
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